


When We Were Young

by lylia9000



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Crushes are cute, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friendship, Gaster tries to be a good parent, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hate for humans, Hate to Love, He's still a pretty bad person though, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nightmares, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prejudice, Sans Has Trust Issues (Undertale), Songfic, You have trust issues, You're all mostly children, no beta we die like men, you don't even know you're in love anyway, you're both too dumb to say anything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28597860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lylia9000/pseuds/lylia9000
Summary: [ Child!Sans & Gender Neutral!Reader Insert ]"I never hated you.""Then why'd you always push me away?""Because I was afraid.""Afraid of what? Me?""Afraid that you would be like everyone else. I'm glad I was wrong though."+ + +You didn't know how you ended up here, but quite honestly a part of you never wanted to go back.You were 12 when you found them. A world directly beneath your feet. You weren't the first human, no definitely not. You were only the first human to fall for their generation, but it made all the difference.You were a reckless, headstrong, and stubborn child, but that fire in your eyes was more than enough to set hope ablaze in their souls. Especially for a skeleton who never knew much more than his father, brother, best friend, and countless others who looked down on him. You lit up his dark sky with the embers of a youth he'd almost had to throw away.
Relationships: Sans (Undertale) & Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 31
Kudos: 106





	1. 0 || The Beginning, The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the Undertale Comic: "Don't Have To Hide".

**"** ❄︎ **☟︎** ✋︎💧︎✋︎💧︎ **⚐︎☠︎** **☹︎** ✡︎❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** 👌︎ **☜︎☝︎** ✋︎ **☠︎☠︎** ✋︎ **☠︎** **☝︎** **⚐︎** **☞︎** 💧︎ **☜︎** ✞︎ **☜︎** **☼︎** ✌︎ **☹︎** **☜︎** **☠︎** 👎︎✋︎ **☠︎** **☝︎** 💧︎ **. "**

**W.D. Gaster** 's breath was heavy, pain thumping against his skull. His boney fingers ghosted the new wound on his face, bone marrow and magic lifeblood flowing down in rivers. The purple-red swirled liquid stained the glossy tiled floor of his lab in Hotland.

Although his eyesight had been drastically reduced and his vision clouded from his own blood, he stared at the enemy before him, a male human. He held a scalpel in hand, one that the doctor had just been using, but not on him.

His now sunken left eye glowed a dangerous purple, his right even brighter. How had this happened? How did a human get inside of his lab? Even with all the lasers and traps he'd set up? There was dust on the man's clothes. Had this human killed his assistants and colleagues? And now wished to end him as well?

There were soft hiccups and loud whining from under the counter he'd just been working at, not even two minutes ago. His sons. His functioning right eye drifted to them for a fraction of a second, but he knew what he had to do. His hands glowed a bright purple to match his eye lights.

"Honestly, today was simply beautiful." He said, in warbled tones, his accent falling through just slightly. "The birds were singing, flowers were blooming..."

Two skeletal dragon heads were summoned, one on each side. "But on days like these, humans like you..." The large creatures' mouths opened wide. "Should be burning in hell." Large blasts of light were shot towards the human, and the battle continued between the two men. Bones lined with purple magic flew across the lab and jutted out from the floor. Slices of the scalpel, a mysterious red glow following after filled the room.

But neither of them had the time to turn their attention to the child and infant under the lab table.

A skeleton child, wrapped in a blue sweater, his eye lights flashing a terrified blue and yellow as tears streamed endlessly down his face. He could hardly breathe. His father was critically injured and fighting for their lives right in front of him. Yet the boy couldn't move from his huddled position. There was a bundle of orange and red in his grasp. He cradled his baby brother in his arms, holding the infant tighter than necessary and causing him to cry.

If they survived this, then he knew what he had to do.

**Sans** knew he couldn't let a single human like this enter the underground ever again.


	2. 1 || Fallen Leaves, Fallen Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Underground. It's different from what you know.

**"** ✌︎❄︎ **☹︎** ✌︎💧︎❄︎✋︎❄︎✋︎💧︎❄︎✋︎💣︎ **☜︎** ❄︎ **⚐︎** 👌︎ **☜︎☝︎** ✋︎ **☠︎** ✡︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎ **☼︎** **☺︎** **⚐︎** 🕆︎ **☼︎** **☠︎** **☜︎** ✡︎ **. "**

You were aching. Your head pounding to an unknown beat against your skull. What happened? Why were you in so much pain? Your eyes finally cracked open, blinking away the moonlight that shone down on you. Why was it so dark?

Your vision finally cleared enough to look up and see that you'd plummeted from the hole in the ceiling above you. You could see the moon directly above, and if you squinted you'd almost be able to see the glow of the stars so far above.

Pulling your arm from out under your body, you propped yourself up on your scraped elbows. Your entire body was sore, but you needed to find out what happened and how you got here. You could see bruises littering your arms, and you guessed that you were probably bruised everywhere else too. Although you hadn't known how you survived such a long fall until you heard the crinkling of dried leaves under you. The sound was deafening against the silence that the cave provided.

That was until you listened a little closer. If you remained still and alert to your surroundings, you could make out a soft harmonic melody that seemed to flow through the entire place. You couldn't tell where it was coming from, but it made the darkness surrounding you a little less fearful.

You finally gained the energy to stand on your own, wincing when you placed too much pressure on your right leg. It seemed as though your forearms and right leg took quite a bit of damage, despite that the pile of leaves broke your fall. You needed to find a way out and back up to the surface.

Although, for a moment you weren't sure as to why. Why did you have such a deep calling back to the surface? Why'd you even fall down here in the first place again? You knitted your eyebrows together in confusion.

That was strange. You should at least remember that much. You'd deal with that later though, for now you were beginning to feel a chill run up your spine. Someone was watching you, and being injured and watched made you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. You leaned against the cave walls, realizing that they were a lot smoother than you thought they would be, and hobbling away to what you thought looked like an exit. Hopefully it wouldn't get much darker.

You walked through the dimly lit hall and came across a purple gateway. It was strange, and most definitely not made naturally. You walked through it despite the possible dangers. You were alone right? You didn't know what was more terrifying. The fact that you were alone without help, or the feeling of being watched clawing at your nerves.

You reached a room that was no longer dark, but lit just enough to see that the floors and walls were all purple. Other than the white marble stairs that lined the first room, it seemed empty. Still, who had placed these stairs here? It looked like ones from leading up to the library back home.

Home? That's right! Your home was on the surface. You remembered that much, good! You finally got used to the pain in your leg and guessed it was simply twisted, although you didn't have the heart to take a look at it and see if it was swollen or not. You didn't want to stop yourself short and give up just yet.

With the newfound information of your home, you continued on, limping, but no longer leaning against the wall for support. There were more rooms like this one. Long corridors and rooms that seemed to have no end, only the purple walls and floors and the occasional white pillars. Some had been littered with red fallen leaves like the ones you'd landed on.

It was becoming lonely, and for a child who had no idea where they were going, it was also becoming terrifying. What if you'd be lost in these catacombs forever? You had no way home. You had no chance-

"Ribbit, ribbit."

You turned around, the sudden sound breaking the soft melody that floated along the path, and looked around desperately trying to pin the source of the noise down.

"Ribbit."

You looked down, your eyes falling on a small... frog? Was that a frog? It looked so strange. Perhaps a type of frog you'd never heard about before? Was it poisonous?

"Ribbit."

You stared at it, unsure of what to do, but you'd heard a phrase about these types of situations before. _"If you leave it alone, then it'll leave you alone."_ Before you could remember who told you such a thing, the strangely patterned frog spat something out of it's mouth. Weirdly enough, it was actually a fly. Two flies... Three? And they were all heading for you. You cringed in disgust and tried swatting it away, only to hit it with the back of your hand and feel a stinging sensation.

You looked down at the scratch on your knuckles and back to the frog as the other two flies made contact with your body. Each one left a scratch on you. Alright, this was not ok. This frog - this _thing_ was dangerous, and you needed to leave, _now_.

It stared at you while you turned and made a run for it. Sure you were a lot bigger than it, but what if it was poisonous? You weren't a coward, sure, but you also weren't an absolute idiot. Just occasionally reckless. This was not one of the times to be reckless. Besides, what were you supposed to do? Fight it? Fight a frog? Seriously? You'd probably have more luck roasting it's legs and eating it for dinner.

You'd made it pretty far, coming to a crossroads before your leg finally gave out and you tripped on your own foot. Cringing as you tumbled, you felt your elbows sting again, and your ankle throb. How did it come to this? You crawled to the closest wall, sitting against it as you felt tears sting your eyes.

You were lost underground, injured with no way out of this dark place. You could feel your lips tremble as you pulled your legs into your chest, lifting the hem of your pants slightly to see your scratched up and red ankle. It wasn't swelling much, thankfully, but it didn't help to make you feel any better about your situation.

Just as you felt your sobs catch in your throat, you heard a slight thump gradually making it's way towards you. You'd almost mistake it for footsteps if it wasn't so awkwardly timed.

You stopped your train of thought to turn your attention to the opening down the hall. You were alert and in a desperate attempt to feel less helpless, you grabbed anything nearby that you could use as a weapon. Your hands fell on a sturdy stick, a few feet away from you. Sure it was probably not very useful as a weapon, but it grounded you, and made you feel as if you could defend yourself to some extent.

Being able to do nothing but wait for the creature to approach, you backed yourself up against the wall some more, hoping you could just sink into it and forget about this bad dream. You watched as something - not even three feet tall, walked (?) into the room. Finally seeing it in the light, you felt your chest drop into your stomach. Whatever it was, was not something you knew about, and definitely did not seem harmless.

The creature honestly looked like some sort of horrifying carrot. The top green, and it's ' _body_ ' orange. It's face looked like something you'd carve onto a jack-o-lantern, but it wasn't Halloween. You felt chills rush down your spine as it hopped closer. You tried to scramble and stand up, but simply ended up hurting yourself more, tripping and landing roughly on the floor.

It stood right in front of you, your eyes wide as you stared at each other, but it's creepy grin stayed.

"Eat your vegetables." It spoke in a wavering tone.

It almost sounded like those words would be the death of you. You covered your head with your scratched up hands and gritted your teeth together, waiting for it to attack you. It summoned little vegetables and they landed directly in front of you. Now, you weren't the biggest fan of greens, but with the expectant look on its face, it repeated its phrase.

"Eat your vegetables." It nudged the greens closer and you hesitantly rose from your crouched position to take one of the carrots in front of you. Was this... Was this alright? You would be eating a vegetable in front of (what looked to be) another living vegetable. It was like eating chicken nuggets in front of another chicken.

Still you placed it in your mouth and crunched it with an awkward expression on your face, but it only grinned wider. This was... weird. It stared at you intensely, so you continued to chew until you finished eating the little vegetable. Honestly it was just barely bigger than a baby carrot, but you felt something soothing from eating it.

The little vegetable grinned and hopped around in place as it looked back down to your ankle. "Better?" It asked, glancing between your face and your leg.

You glanced back down at your ankle, lifting up your pants again to see the swelling completely gone. Although there was still pain, it was more bearable than before. Your eyes widened as you stared at the carrot-o-lantern and then back to the vegetable in your hand. You finished eating a second one and the pain was nearly gone in your leg, along with the open red marks on your hands from the frog creature.

You stared back at the little creature again, a still unsure expression on your face. "Umm, yeah. It's better." You said nodding. "Uh... Thanks?"

It grinned wider, and yes it was creepier the more it smiled. It looked like it understood you, and you couldn't tell what was stranger. The fact that it understood you, or that it was dancing around in a little circle.

You figured that these little healing carrots would come in handy and after brushing off the dirt from the other two on the floor, you shoved one into your sweater pocket and the other into your mouth. Maybe if you ate another it would fix the scratches on your elbows.

"Come! Come! **Vegetoid** help." It hopped along, gesturing for you to follow with the little green leaves on its head.

"Wait what?" Was the only thing you could mutter out before you scrambled to your feet, running after the strangely fast... Vegetoid?

You continued to shove the rest of the carrot into your mouth, and finally caught up with it by the time you finished. Just like you predicted, the scratches on your elbow disappeared, some of the pain from your leg along with it.

It led you towards a tree, filled with the same red leaves that you'd seen all along the path you'd been traveling.

"Welcome to **Ruins**." Vegetoid spoke in it's wavering broken English.

You stared at it. It seemed fairly excited that you were here. "Umm... Thanks?" You said unsure again. "So this place is called Ruins?"

It nodded, hopping forward at an awkward pace past the tree. Just as you were about to walk past it as well, you saw something shimmering at the base of the tree's trunk. Hovering just over the floor, surrounded by the ruby red leaves, was a glowing... Actually, you didn't know _what_ it was. It didn't look alive. It actually looked like some sort of star. Fading in and out of it's glow.

Curiosity took away the best of your rationality, and you reached your hand out to brush your finger against it. There was a warm wave of calm rushing over you as you saw something pop up right above it.

" **Seeing a living tree underground with no sunlight around fills you with DETERMINATION - and HOPE... Save?** "

You were extremely confused, and looked over your shoulder to see if the little Vegetoid knew what was going on, but it only kept it's back turned to you. Not moving in the slightest. It almost looked like it wasn't breathing - like time was standing still.

You were confused, but you gently tapped the ' **save** ' option, simply driven by the need to see what would happen.

Another text popped up. " **The Ruins - File saved.** "

And everything returned to normal. The Vegetoid continued to hop along, calling out to you. "Come, human! Come!" The music from before flowed gently through your ears, and for a moment you saw how dangerous an action you'd just performed. You'd just stopped time for a solid second, and you were the only one aware of it.

That was terrifying.

"Human?"

You looked up, your eyes connecting with the Vegetoid's hollow ones. "Human, ok?" You only nodded in return and it continued down the long hallway until it reached the back of the purple cave wall. Would you even still consider it a cave? This place was the **Ruins**.

You stared down at Vegetoid, unsure of why it simply stood there, a few feet away from the wall. "Vegetoid?" You asked, raising an eyebrow. "You - uh... You ok?"

He began brushing away the ruby leaves on the floor, and as more of the leaves were removed, you noticed there was something there. You helped him move them until a brown wooden entrance on the floor was visible. You pulled at the two rusted door holes and it opened with a gradual creek. Finally, you lugged it up, throwing one side open and letting out a cough at how musky it smelt down there.

"Go down." Vegetoid said. "Keep going and human can go home." He almost sounded sad.

You knitted your eyebrows as you looked at the descending stairwell. It looked pitch black down there, and honestly you weren't a fan of not being able to see.

"Human careful, ok?" He continued. "Not all **monsters** nice."

You glanced back at him, a crooked, still kind of conflicted smile on your face. "So that's what you are, huh?" You asked. "A monster?" He nodded. "I guess there's gonna be a lot of monsters from here on out, right?" He nodded again. You took the first step into the dark descending stairs.

Before you could get farther than a few steps down, you looked back at Vegetoid, that sad expression still on it's face. "I'll be alright." You reassured him. "And thanks, Vegetoid."

"Welcome, Human." He replied.

"It's (Y/N)." You said giving him a hesitant pat on the head. "My name is (Y/N)."

He smiled one more time for you. "Goodbye, (Y/N)."

And with that, you left your temporary friend and continued down the staircase, never hearing the door shut behind you until you reached the bottom, where a solid floor awaited you.

You were on your own now, and it was terrifying, but Vegetoid's voice filled you with **determination** and **hope**.


	3. 2 || Snowed In, In Snowdin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You really should have dressed warmer.

**"** ✡︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎👍︎✌︎ **☠︎** **☞︎** ✋︎ **☠︎** 👎︎ **☞︎** **☼︎** ✋︎ **☜︎** **☠︎** 👎︎💧︎✋︎ **☠︎** ❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** 💧︎❄︎ **☼︎** ✌︎ **☠︎** **☝︎☜︎** 💧︎❄︎ **⚐︎** **☞︎** 🕈︎✌︎✡︎💧︎ **. "**

Your foot made contact with the solid floor, the unexpected surface caused you to stagger before you jumped down and stood on the even ground. There weren't anymore stairs, at least, not as far as you could see. The long hallway you'd landed yourself in was barely lit, only a single lantern every few meters or so. The flickering fires in each one seemed alive in their own way. They were too animated to feel as if they were simply gas or oil lamps, despite that there was no one there to tend to them.

You walked down the purple halls, the color was becoming increasingly familiar but plain. There seemed to be no end in sight, just a continuous line of flames hung on the wall, one after another. For a moment you began to doubt Vegetoid. Maybe... Maybe you were an idiot to believe that a random creature would try to help you.

You shook your head. _"Kindness like cruelty, requires nothing more than opportunity."_ Yeah, alright, but who told you that? That didn't seem like a phrase you could come up with. You were only 12, and sure you weren't an idiot, but you weren't some sort of prodigy either. Those words were far too wise.

An adult perhaps? Yeah, that's it! You remembered now! She was 18 and had short brown hair. She was your... camp counselor? Wait, camp? Right! You attended a summer camp, but when? Was that recent? Perhaps not? More questions you couldn't remember the answer to kept popping up.

Your train of thought was broken when a breeze of wind flew past you, causing your skin to grow goosebumps and you to shiver. You were wearing a short sleeve shirt, a light (f/c) jacket, and some long pants that scrunched up at the bottom because they were a little long. Despite wearing a jacket, it didn't do you much good, as there were tears all along the sleeves and back. Most likely due to your fall.

The breeze was becoming stronger the longer you walked, and for a moment you could think about nothing but the immense cold you were feeling. How could the normal temperatures from the Ruins turn into something so cold in such a short amount of time? Maybe you should grab one of the lanterns on the wall to keep yourself warm. You glanced up at the lanterns, realizing that they were too high up on the wall for you to reach anyways.

You continued forward, only stopping to shiver for a moment until finally you'd seen light at the end of the tunnel. There was an opening at the end, the same purple gateway you'd seen from before framing the path, but something was wrong - or perhaps just strange.

Snow fell and swept into the last hall out of the Ruins. It fell and melted, but some were just cold enough to have piled on the edges of the doorframe and stay there, as if someone had tracked snow into a house. But snow underground? That was impossible. There was no water cycle underground without the sun and atmosphere... Right?

You felt a harsh winter breeze sweep past you, causing you to stumble back and clench your teeth. You were regretting not finding something warmer to wear, but then again, who would wear a large coat in the middle of summer?

Wait, summer? Was it summer? You didn't get to finish that thought before something glittered in the corner of your eyes. Another golden star, to the side of the doors. It hovered just over a bush to the left, just outside the gate. You felt the need to reach for it again, hoping that the same calm warmth would fend off the cold winter atmosphere, but it required you to step out into the snow and you weren't exactly wearing snow boots.

Still, you trudged forward, your teeth immediately chattering as the temperature dropped drastically. Your hand reached out for the glowing star and as soon as you made contact with it, you felt it's warmth and reassurance rush over you. Thank god...

Time froze again, even the snow fall stopping in its tracks to allow you to read the pop up text.

" **The sudden change in temperatures is mystifying, and fills you with DETERMINATION - and HOPE... Save?** "

For some reason you hesitated again. The cold had been held back by the halt in time, and you weren't exactly looking forward for it to bite at your skin again, but you had to continue on. Not only that, but you felt as if there was something wrong. Something was amiss - almost as if you weren't alone, even though the concept of time freezing around you made you feel alone. Pun not intended...

" **Snowdin Forest - File saved.** "

You saved regardless, and resumed your journey, keeping to the path in front of you. Vegetoid told you to keep going, but he never told you which direction to continue. So you hoped that traveling in a straight line would get you somewhere.

Although the name of the place you were in, **Snowdin Forest**... It seemed fitting, but the thick line of trees you saw as you continued walking on terrified you. The evergreens seemed packed together so tightly that you couldn't even see through them. There was only darkness peering through as their thick branches blocked out any light from the canopy.

Speaking of which, how was it possible to have light like this underground? You didn't see any sort of permanent light source - actually, you didn't see any light source at all. It was simply... bright enough to see. Also - you'd nearly forgotten about the stick in your possession. You'd kept gripping onto it so tightly during your current events that it made a dent in your hands, leaving shadows and little lines of the wooden fibers. You pried it out of your own hands, surprised that there weren't any splinters.

Actually... Now that you thought about it, ever since you saved at the large red tree in the Ruins, all of your wounds had closed up. There was nothing more than the ghosting of your old bruises. They were no longer aching, but you remembered where they were.

" **SANS**!"

The sudden shout caused you to jump out of your skin, your eyes wide and darting around for the source of the scream. It sounded like someone was calling for help. Your feet began to move on their own; from trudging through the newly fallen snow to running as fast as you could towards the calls for help.

It sounded like another kid – several actually. As you got closer, your grip on the stick tightened, your panicked breaths filling the air with steam, until you heard their voices. The voices of other children, all shouting.

"HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!"

You didn't waste anymore time, you strayed from the path and burst through the tree line, despite your earlier fears of becoming lost in the forest and ran towards a tiny clearing. You saw a group of monster children, one on the floor, doubled over and another sitting beside them. Four more figures surrounded the other two.

For a second you thought they were crowding around, trying to find out what happened, until you saw one summon their magic, and surround the two on the floor with razor sharp snowflakes.

A terrified yelp came from the smaller one, who was clinging to the one on the floor. It looked like a skeleton; they had an orange turtleneck on, and a bright red scarf wrapped around their neck. Laughter erupted from the four children circling around the two on the floor. He began to cry, and as you saw the transparent orange tinted tears roll off his face, you felt something well up inside you.

Your **soul** pounded against your ribcage. You were angry. You were _furious_ , and this pure rage could come out as nothing more than unchecked aggression.

You rushed at the group of monster children, not even bothering to take in their appearances, as they were nothing more than clutters of hostile feathers and fur now. You shoved one away to make room for yourself, and you stood defensively in front of the other two, a fire burning in your **soul**. The four children who were surrounding the other two stared at you in shock. Firstly, they didn't expect for anyone else to be out this far into the forest, and so close to the Ruins. Everyone knew that the Ruins were dangerous. Secondly, they'd never seen anyone like you. You - you weren't a species they'd seen before... Well, except for one.

"A **human**!" He growled, pointing at you accusingly. "It's a human!" He said again, finally snapping his companions out of their shock. "Get them!" He looked like a dog, grey fur and a black snout with floppy ears, and eyes that looked offended. He was also the leader apparently, as he was the first to bark orders.

The others became scared, all of them staring at you with fear beginning to cloud their eyes. Everyone remembered the stories they were told as children and that they learned in school. Humans were the reason they lived underground and they were dangerous.

"B-but w-we're not guards!" The first one to stutter out a reply was the bird looking monster, a white snowflake pattern on his face, against his dark blue feathers. He was the one who you saw attack the two smaller ones behind you.

"Does it matter?!" Their leader snapped. "If there's a human in the underground, then you **kill** it. That's what my dad always says. Besides, they don't have magic. They're weak compared to us monsters."

Your eye twitched, a frown continuing to grow on your face. One more wrong thing out of this mutt's mouth and you'd show him just how ' _weak_ ' you were.

"They're just as weak as the two idiots behind them."

You snapped. Letting out a battle cry, you lifted the stick in your hands above your head and it collided with the chest of the dog in front of you. He staggered backwards, gripping at where you'd hit him, pain and shock written across his face.

You'd liked that expression. You didn't like being underestimated, even if you were a kid, but you _loved_ that look on his face. You loved proving people like these _wrong_. You were strong, and you were going to show him just how strong you were.

You couldn't help but be blinded by your sudden fury, the voices of the other children fading into nothing more than background noise, as you fought anything that moved. You turned in several directions, trying to fend off their attacks, and returning them to drive them away, but you always caught that flash of red from the corners of your eyes. Along with the lump of blue and slight flickering of yellow beside it.

You received several blows from the four children, scratches turned into gashes, and shocks of mild pain turned into thumping purple bruises. Soon enough, you'd hit one - a bunny girl - hard enough on her back that she collided with the snow and didn't get back up.

You panted, your ragged breaths turning into vapor in the air, but even though you were ready for another attack, nothing came. You were tired, and the adrenaline in your veins was beginning to subside when you realized that the reason why, was because they all stared at you, terrified. You didn't notice, not even now, because it was pulled out from behind you and held in place by the blue lump you were protecting, about a minute ago. Your soul was in full view, and it glowed a vibrant red, only to be masked with a film of blue magic. It contrasted majorly with the blood that flowed from your arm when you were cut by one of the sharp snowflakes.

They weren't staring at your soul though - they were staring at the unconscious body you were hovering over, and the almost deranged, angry look in your eyes.

"WHAT!?" You snapped at them, every single monster flinching at your loud voice. "Are you done yet!?" You yelled. "Are you done fighting?! Are you done picking on people weaker than you!?" You could see that they were all backing away, scared of what you'd been capable of. You lowered your voice, realizing that violence was no longer needed. "Because if you are, then you can leave."

You didn't need to say anything else, two of them took off, and the last one, a bear looking monster girl dragged her friend away as soon as you took a few steps away from her body. You let out a shaky breath, feeling the last of your anger and adrenaline fizzle out and evaporate. The problem was that the hormones that kept you fighting, were also the ones that kept the pain at bay.

You hissed in pain, soft whimpers falling from your mouth as you collapsed to your knees. You could really feel your injuries now, and the streaks of dried blood, with a few drops to follow down slowly, left you scared. The pain was one thing, but the fear of death was another.

You heard the soft crunching of snow against the floor behind you, and your breath caught in your throat. For a moment, you thought that one of those bullies had come back to finish you off. You turned around and were met with a terrifying blue and yellow glowing eye of the other skeleton who wore a blue sweater. You could feel tears well up as you curled into yourself, convinced that despite saving him, you were still human; and that meant you were to be killed. The realization filling you with **hopelessness** and **fear**.


	4. 3 || Older Brother, Younger Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traumatized skeletons are always the best option.

**"** ✡︎︎︎ **⚐︎︎︎** 🕆︎︎︎👌︎︎︎ **☼︎︎︎** **⚐︎︎︎** 🕆︎︎︎ **☝︎︎︎☟︎︎︎** ❄︎︎︎❄︎︎︎ **☟︎︎︎☜︎︎︎** 💣︎︎︎ **☟︎︎︎** **⚐︎︎︎** 💣︎︎︎ **☜︎︎︎** 💧︎︎︎✌︎︎︎ **☞︎︎︎☜︎︎︎** **☹︎︎︎** ✡︎︎︎✌︎︎︎ **☠︎︎︎** 👎︎︎︎ **☞︎︎︎** **⚐︎︎︎** **☼︎︎︎** ❄︎︎︎ **☟︎︎︎** ✌︎︎︎❄︎︎︎✡︎︎︎ **⚐︎︎︎** 🕆︎︎︎🕈︎︎︎✋︎︎︎ **☹︎︎︎☹︎︎︎** 👌︎︎︎ **☜︎︎︎** 😐︎︎︎ **☜︎︎︎** 🏱︎︎︎❄︎︎︎💧︎︎︎✌︎︎︎ **☞︎︎︎☜︎︎︎** ❄︎︎︎ **⚐︎︎︎⚐︎︎︎** **. "**

His hand was wrapped in his blue magical aura, and it was directed to your soul. He held it in place with his magic, pinning you to the floor, although it wasn't as if you were going to be getting up anytime soon anyways. His left eye was ablaze with blue-yellow smoke billowing out in strong wisps. He was breathing shallow, but quick; as if he was panicking, and his beige turtleneck under the blue sweater was moving in time with his breaths. Had you not been in such a pitiful state on the floor, you might have been curious as to how he did so.

"SANS NO!"

The smaller skeleton pulled on his sleeve, tugging the sleeve of the arm that held your soul. "NO! NO! THEY SAVED US! STOP IT!" He shouted again, little orange tears beginning to form around his eyes again.

Sans was shaking, and his little brother tugging at his sleeve caused him to panic more. He had to protect him. He had to protect his family, but when he saw the little tears at the edges of his eyes, Sans listened to what his brother said.

You saved them? Nonsense - you... He took another glance at you on the floor, your arm was no longer bleeding, but it looked almost frozen, and you were in pain. Scratched up, bruised, and almost broken on the floor as you curled into yourself.

" **Pap** , stand back, you don't understand what's going on." Sans's voice cracked as he tried to gently push his brother behind him. If he wanted to protect him - if he wanted to protect _anyone_ , this human had to go. They - they had to die.

"NO!" Papyrus screamed again, pushing himself between you and Sans. "NO! I WON'T LET YOU HURT THEM!" He was crying and Sans could feel himself falter. "YOU DIDN'T SEE IT BECAUSE I WAS STILL TRYING TO HEAL YOU, BUT THEY SAVED US!"

"They beat up four kids!" Sans shouted back. He watched as Papyrus burst out into sobs, flopping onto the floor helplessly beside you. He took a step forward, worried that Papyrus was too close to you, but his little brother only scooted closer to you the closer he tried to get. "Pap, I - I'm sorry, but you need to get away from them..." He tried, earning another loud sob.

"SANS!?"

The older skeleton's eyes shot up when he heard his name being called from a different direction.

"PAPYRUS!"

Papyrus swapped out his sobbing for hiccups as he scrambled onto his feet and ran towards the familiar voice.

"DADDY!" Papyrus cried, rushing towards his father as the tall skeleton came running through the thick snow, only stopping to kneel down and pick Papyrus up.

"Papyrus? Sans!? What are you two doing out this far-" The scientist stopped in his tracks, his bones freezing in place as he held Papyrus closer to his body, seeing you bleeding on the floor. " **Sans**. Step away, _now_." His voice was quiet, and caused Sans to feel a shiver down his spine, but the child obeyed. His glowing blue-yellow eye dispersed to reveal his white pinpricks, and he rushed to his father's hold.

"Explain." **Gaster** wore a white lab coat, glasses still on his face and the fog in them was beginning to disappear as they cooled and got used to the colder temperature. "You - you didn't kill them did you?" He whispered, his gaze finally tearing from your beaten body on the floor to look at his oldest son's. Sans shook his head profusely, but didn't speak.

You were freezing on the floor, and about 5 minutes ago, you'd passed out from your injuries and the cold. You were lying there in the snow, still as though you really had been dead, and no doubt that if you stayed in these temperatures with those injuries, you really would be in about 15 more minutes.

"Then what happened?" He asked, glancing between his two sons and your body on the floor.

Before Sans could say anything, his younger brother beat him to it. "THEY SAVED US!" He argued, tugging at his father's lab coat. "PLEASE DON'T HURT THEM, DADDY! THEY SAVED US FROM THOSE MEAN KIDS!"

"Saved?" His uneven eyes drifted back to your body, surveying your injuries from a few feet away. "Mean kids? What?"

Sans gripped his own sweater and sunk into it. "... some bullies from school chased us here and -..." He let out a shaky breath, realizing what Papyrus said was right. "they saved us." He muttered, feeling his eyes burn with confused tears. "Dad, I - I don't get it." He whispered weakly before feeling his father's head nudge his own. He buried his head into the man's shoulder and held himself tighter.

He was confused, and his father understood, because if you'd really saved his children, then it would only make sense. After the traumatizing event that had happened in his own lab, Sans was always extremely weary of humans, even if none had fallen until now.

He couldn't waste any more time. He hoisted his two children up as he stood, and with purple magic coming from his eyes, he levitated your body towards them. Both of them gripped their father's lab coat tighter as he brought you close. If you'd really saved them, then the least he could do was to make sure you weren't to die just yet.

Too many questions would be asked if he carried your limp body through Snowdin, so he opted to teleport, making sure you were close enough for his range of magic before there was a sudden ' _ping_ ' and the four of you were inside of his home.

Gaster placed his two sons on the floor, despite that they still clung to his lab coat, they let go when they realized he was going to observe you. He placed you on the couch with his magic, before turning to his two sons again. They seemed spooked, and they had every right to be.

"Papyrus, could you get a bowl of warm water and a towel? Sans, get the medical kit from the lab." He hoped his requests could keep them busy enough to shove their fears aside.

He turned his attention back to you and took in your ragged appearance. Your hair was disheveled and matted down with dirt and snow. Your face was scratched up and bruised. Your clothes were thin, bloodstained, dirty, and tattered. You really couldn't look much worse. It must have been hell for you if you'd already looked like that despite only reaching Snowdin Forest.

He looked a little more closely at the gash in your arm. It wasn't too deep, but it had bled, and caused you to look more beaten than if it hadn't. It must've been painful. He sighed. Did you receive all of these injuries protecting his children? What was he supposed to do? Sans was deeply traumatized by humans. He was intelligent, yes; but trauma didn't care for intelligence. It would still be hard for him to accept that, like monsters, humans also could be good or bad, and you were only a child.

_But even a child could be evil._

He frowned at his own thoughts, glaring down at your unconscious body. It was a pessimistic and almost harmful thought, but it was true. Even children could be evil.

"I GOT IT DADDY!"

He snapped out of his unhealthy thoughts and looked behind him to see Papyrus waddling his way into the living room with a basin of water and a rag to clean your wounds with. Sans had already placed the medical kit on the coffee table in the middle of the living room and was staring at your body with his eye lights flashing between white and blue. He was still conflicted, much alike Gaster himself.

"Thank you." He spoke before leaning down and helping Papyrus place the bin on the coffee table. "Sans, please take Papyrus to your room and play there for a while. I will take care of the human."

When hearing that his father would help the human that saved them, Papyrus was ecstatic, and eagerly pulled at his older brother's hand. He wanted to hurry up and play, then hurry up and go back down to see the human awake. He had so many questions for them, and so much to say.

But Sans didn't budge. He had a shocked, but terrified expression on his face, only barely diluted because he didn't wish to scare his little brother, but it didn't change that his father was going to try and heal you. He was so confused, and his eyes kept flashing between you and his father's face.

"dad..." His voice was quiet and wavered, unsure if what his father was doing was alright, but Gaster only gave his son a gentle smile.

"Do not worry, Sans." He said nodding. "I know, and it will be alright."

Sans finally allowed his bones to quit their tense clattering, and he was now pulled along by Papyrus upstairs, but his eyes never left Gaster's gaze until the two boys were inside the room and the door closed behind them.

Gaster gave a deep sigh, massaging the area between his eye sockets. He looked down at you, your eyebrows were knitted together in pain, and a scared expression was on your face, despite that you were unconscious. He glanced back at his son's room again, and wondered what he was going to do with all of you.

He summoned his extra hands and wasted no time cleaning, closing, and wrapping your injuries. He didn't bother to use healing magic - it was far too draining for him - but there was something else that was bothering him. He'd have to tell the king and queen of your presence. Honestly, he didn't know what to expect from them.

It wasn't as if they were unpredictable, it was simply that Asgore and Toriel were still so fragile after what happened to their own children. They were still in a state of grieving and he knew that his latest findings (which he already presented to them) would be a big factor of how they would handle your presence in the underground.

"Child, you really do have the worst timing." He muttered with a sigh. He began talking to himself, as he waited to see if you'd have a response. He didn't want to leave you alone. He didn't trust you yet. He didn't know your full story after all, but he did know that you'd done a number on those bullies.

He'd teleported home from work because he'd forgotten important notes in his personal lab. He'd gone upstairs to see if Sans and Papyrus were home from school yet, as they should have been, but it was silent. He'd begun to worry, and silently hoped that the two of them had gone to spend time in the small restaurant his friends owned and their son. But just as he was about to teleport back to his lab in Hotland, he heard shouts and cries from outside, and panicked.

He burst outside and found a few pairs of parents surrounding four children. When he spotted them, he saw that they were all beaten, and one was completely unconscious. The dog monster child in the middle of it all said something about two skeletons in Snowdin Forest, and he felt his soul drop into his nonexistent stomach.

He teleported there as quickly as he could and ran around, trying to find his sons, only to hear Papyrus's loud cries. He'd never been so panicked in his life, and that was when he saw his sons and your unconscious body on the floor.

Even now as you were patched up, you were still freezing, and Gaster placed a blanket over you. He would turn on the heater later. You were dangerous. If you'd decided to join the opposite side, and instead fight against his sons - Asgore praise that you didn't - then he would've been greeted with nothing more than two piles of dust, a scarf, and sweater.

The thought alone caused the scientist to clench his hands together as his bones shook. You were dangerous, yet he'd brought you into his home. He needed the full story - he needed to know what happened, what your thoughts were, and why you'd decided to be so violent in defending his sons. He was just glad that no one was dusted, and perhaps Asgore was right.

After creating Sans and Papyrus, he was becoming soft, but the idea of watching them have the happy life they deserved filled him with **determination** and **hope**.


	5. 4 || Scared Skeletons, Dangerous Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally wake up and meet the family of skeletons.

**"** **☜︎** ✞︎ **☜︎** **☠︎** 👍︎ **☟︎** ✋︎ **☹︎** 👎︎ **☼︎** **☜︎** **☠︎** 👍︎✌︎ **☠︎** 👌︎ **☜︎** **☜︎** ✞︎✋︎ **☹︎** 📬︎ **☜︎** ✞︎ **☜︎** **☠︎** 💣︎ **⚐︎** **☼︎** **☜︎** ✌︎ **☼︎** **☜︎** 😐︎✋︎ **☠︎** 👎︎📪︎👌︎🕆︎❄︎✡︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎✌︎ **☼︎** **☜︎** 💧︎✋︎💣︎🏱︎ **☹︎** ✡︎✌︎ **☠︎** **☝︎** **☼︎** ✡︎ **. "**

"ARE THEY AWAKE YET?"

"No, Papyrus. Not yet."

"HOW MUCH LONGER?"

"I'm... Not sure. Perhaps a few hours?"

"HOURS!?"

"Hahah... No need to pout."

"i think it's better if they stay asleep."

"... Sans."

"SANS DON'T YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM? WHAT IF THEY'RE NICE?"

"nice? Nice?! They beat up four kids yesterday!"

"Sans! There's no need to raise your voice."

"sorry, dad..."

"LOOK! THEY'RE WAKING UP!"

You cringed at the noise that was made all around you. You knew your cabin mates were loud in the mornings, but you didn't think they'd be loud enough to make your head pound like this.

"Guys, please - I don't think it's even 7 yet, shut it." You mumbled. You tried to lift your hand to rub your eyes awake, but winced when you tried to move your arms. Oh - oh god, the pain came crashing down on you like a wave and you suddenly felt just how sore and tired you really were. You groaned, knitting your eyebrows together in pain before you finally managed to open your eyes.

You were met face to face with the excitable skeleton child's grinning face, and you couldn't help but yelp and flinch as he was too close for comfort. "HELLO HUMAN!" He shouted with a bright smile. "THERE IS NO NEED TO SCREAM! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL NOT HURT YOU!"

You stared at the kid, realizing the red scarf around his neck was familiar, and also how childish he was. Despite his loud demeanor, you weren't worried about him. You were a little busy staring at the other two skeletons standing behind him. The tall one in the white lab coat tried to seem less threatening and gave you your space, but you could tell he was tense. Then there was the one who stared at you with a blank expression and empty eye sockets. He was wearing a blue sweater, one you remembered. These two were the kids you saved, you remembered that much, and you guessed the large one was their father from the dialogue you'd woken up to.

You tried to sit up on your own, but in the end you were helped up by the father. Even though he'd come to your side to help you up, you only stared at him for as long as he was approaching you. You turned your gaze back to the one who glared at you from across the coffee table. He made you feel uncomfortable, like one wrong move and the two of you could be at each others throats.

Gaster noticed the stare down between the two of you, and gave Sans a glance, trying to deter him from making any rash decisions. He caught his father's gaze, the white eye lights returning, before he turned around to enter the kitchen by himself. He stuffed his trembling hands in his pockets and hesitated before he finally entered the kitchen. A part of him didn't want to leave you alone with his father and brother.

"HUMAN!" Both you and Gaster's gaze was snapped away from the kitchen doorway and turned to Papyrus. "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" He asked with sparkling eyes. "I WISH TO KNOW WHO SAVED ME!" He was grinning wider than ever, and you felt like you were talking to another kid. It felt reassuring despite everything.

You chuckled when he said you saved him. "(Y/N)." You said. "My name is (Y/N)." You glanced at the floor, wondering why your name was the only solid information you had about yourself without thinking too hard.

"I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" He said enthusiastically. You could almost see his scarf float behind him. "AND THAT IS MY DAD." He pointed to the skeleton with cracks in his face beside you. "AND MY BROTHER SANS IN THE KITCHEN!"

"Papyrus, (Y/N) still seems to be in a bit of pain, do you think you could help Sans prepare breakfast while I check on their injuries?"

Gaster's request caused Papyrus's eyes to light up, and he bounded away into the kitchen with a, "WHY OF COURSE! I HOPE YOU ENJOY PASTA AND PANCAKES, HUMAN!"

You watched as Papyrus exited, and you suddenly felt very unsafe. You turned your body, despite the aches, to stare at Gaster who stood at the other end of the couch. He looked like he wanted to speak with you alone, and you were dreading what he might say, especially when you remembered what that dog monster said yesterday.

"(Y/N), I have painkillers here that will help with your injuries, and I'd also like to inform you, if you didn't already know, that monster food heals the body." He explained. "So you should eat breakfast with us-"

"Why?" You spoke suddenly, causing him to stare at your interrogating expression. "I thought -... I thought monsters were supposed to kill humans, why are you just... asking me to have breakfast with you?"

He stared at you for a moment, realizing that alike Sans, you were smarter than the other children your age. The both of you always knew just what questions to ask to make things difficult. "Did you hear those myths on the surface? Not all myths are true, you know?"

"I heard it from a dog monster I fought yesterday." You explained, narrowing your eyes slightly, your gaze shifting down. You were terrified. What if this was like one of those scary movies where if you knew too much at the beginning then they'd skip right to cutting you up into tiny pieces.

That made things more complicated, because Gaster knew that was the mentality of the Royal Guard, and he knew just who that dog monster you'd fought yesterday was. He knew the parents of all the children you'd fought, after all they lived in Snowdin, and it was a fairly small town.

"Then tell me this." He said taking a seat beside you on the couch, causing you to shift all the way to the other end. "Why did you attack those children yesterday?" His tone turned deathly serious and subtly accusing. You looked up at Gaster from your crunched position on the couch, your guard up again.

Your expression was twisted into one of bubbling anger and slight betrayal, as you began to scowl at him. "Because they were beating _your_ kids up." You said with a considerable amount of sass. "It doesn't matter what you are, bullies are meant to get a taste of their own medicine." You spat bitterly.

Gaster's expression softened. He sighed, realizing now that his threatening words were no longer in the right place. You really did just defend his children out of justice for the weak. Great, now he felt like an asshole.

Still, you were a little more untamed and volatile than he'd like. Sometimes he wished a nice, intelligent, calm human would fall down and maybe help them learn how to get out of this hell they were trapped in. Instead, he had to deal with you. A reckless, cunning, and unpredictable child.

"Alright." Gaster finally said. "Thank you for protecting them." He turned his body to show his attentiveness. "And my offer to join us for breakfast is still there. You need to eat to heal."

"I know." You muttered, shuffling around with light winces of pain. You reached into your pocket and pulled out the carrot that Vegetoid gave you, glad it didn't rot, and you took a bite out of it with a crunch. Gaster felt a shock run through his spine. Like you were trying to show that your teeth could apply quite a bit of pressure in defense if necessary. "It was really weird to figure that out." You spoke with your mouth partially full and tried to seem nonchalant, but Gaster could see that you were still in pain, and your eyes were still calculating as ever for a child.

"How old are you?" He never got an answer, as Papyrus yelled from the kitchen.

"DADDY BREAKFAST IS READY!" The two of you looked towards the kitchen, and you could see some smoke coming from the doorway. You laughed to yourself as you heard the smoke detector go off. Papyrus was cute but chaotic in his own way. He reminded you of your friend's younger brother that you had gotten along with after meeting him during camp.

Your... friend? You made a friend during summer camp. Ok, that was new information, but you also realized that there was a lot of recent memory fragments about that summer camp. What was it called? When did you attend it? Why did it matter?

You didn't have time to answer these questions before Gaster began to help you off the couch without your consent. He hoisted you up by your armpits and placed you on the ground, being careful not to touch any bad injuries before making his way to the kitchen. You could walk - or rather limp - now that you'd eaten that last carrot from Vegetoid. You were pretty sure that if you hadn't you might not have even been able to get off the couch. Still, Gaster didn't need to lift you off of it like some sort of toddler.

You grumbled silently to yourself before you limped your way into the kitchen. You only just barely peered over the edge of the doorway, but you were already coughing from the smoke. You could see Gaster with a shocked expression as he desperately tried to put out the fire in the pan that Papyrus was using. Sans stood to the side with a lazy grin on his face, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants as he watched the other two handle the situation.

Without meaning to, you chuckled at the sight. It was like something out of a cartoon, but that humor was quickly halted when you'd realized that you had laughed in sync with Sans. The moment he realized you were watching from the entrance, his eye sockets narrowed down, suspicion and distrust forever present in his eyes, while his smile vanished. He really didn't like you. You knew that, but you were offended anyways. You'd saved him and his brother just the other day, taken a beating for them, and he looked at you as if you'd been the one to hurt them.

"That's enough glaring, you two." Gaster spoke up, wiping the ashes of the pancake from his hands. "Why don't you both help each other set the table while we finish the cooking without setting the kitchen on fire?"

The two of you gave each other a glance, Sans only glared harder at you, and you could do nothing but return with a frown. You didn't like his sour attitude, but you moved closer to the table, your injuries still visible. Honestly you still looked like a mess. Gaster hadn't replaced your clothes out of respect, and worked around them, although he had to cross a line when he realized that there was terrible bruising on your stomach and a cut on your thigh. There were bandages wrapped over your clothes too, but they were all disinfected, and you could still smell traces of rubbing alcohol.

Sans only continued to stare at you with that floppy frown of his, opening cabinets to reveal dishes and spoons and forks. You helped him set the table, the two of you completely silent, especially compared to the two laughing figures of Papyrus and Gaster at the stove. The tension between the two of you was thick as ever, both of you almost always ready for a fight at a moment's notice.

It was strange to Sans how, even still being injured, you glared back at him and acted like you weren't in pain. The fire burning in your soul remained and continued to burn brightly despite being hurt. You didn't let any weakness show, especially not when he didn't either.

Eventually your glaring contest was put to an end when Papyrus ran between the two of you and placed a plate of reheated spaghetti on the table. Gaster followed behind him, placing a tall stack of pancakes, and another plate of eggs beside the leftovers.

"... Spaghetti?" You rose an eyebrow at the dish, watching as Papyrus's eyes lit up.

"YES! SPAGHETTI IS MY FAVORITE DISH!"

"And you'd eat it even for breakfast?" You asked.

"OF COURSE!"

You couldn't help but chuckle at him, his innocence and enthusiasm was contagious, and you loved it. He pulled your hand along pulling out one of the chairs and helping you sit in it. You muttered a quick thank you, and he beamed before rushing to his own seat across from you. It was a table big enough for maybe 6 people, but because there were only four of you, well you were sandwiched between Sans and Gaster. You didn't mind, but... Being too close to Sans made you uncomfortable. He was always so tense and on edge. You couldn't relax for a single second when he was in the room. Although, it wasn't as if you'd relaxed at all since falling.

"Alright you two, I mean it." Gaster spoke up, causing the three of you to look at him with confusion. "Stop glaring."

Oh... You hadn't noticed that you and Sans had been locked in another intense staring competition again.

"Sorry." You muttered, fiddling with your own bandages as you shifted your gaze to the table. _"It's rude to stare."_ You'd heard that a lot, from a lot of people.

"LET'S EAT!" Papyrus suddenly called, already shoving spaghetti onto his plate on top of the single pancake. You did a double take as he piled it onto the pancake and stared at his strange choice of mixing the two foods but said nothing about it. _"It's rude to stare." ... "It's rude to stare."_ You chanted in your head as you placed food on your own plate.

Even though you and Sans weren't getting along, sitting with the other three skeletons around a table like this, eating breakfast and talking casually, almost like a ʎlıɯɐɟ ... it filled you with **determination** and **hope**.


	6. 5 || 1 Human, 10 Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Sans have a "minor" argument.

**"** 👍︎ **☟︎** ✋︎ **☹︎** 👎︎ **☼︎** **☜︎** **☠︎** 👎︎ **☜︎** 💧︎ **☜︎** **☼︎** ✞︎ **☜︎** ❄︎ **⚐︎** 🏱︎ **☹︎** ✌︎✡︎ **☺︎** 🕆︎💧︎❄︎✌︎💧︎💣︎🕆︎👍︎ **☟︎** ✌︎💧︎❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** ✡︎👎︎ **☜︎** 💧︎ **☜︎** **☼︎** ✞︎ **☜︎** ❄︎ **⚐︎** **☹︎** **☜︎** ✌︎ **☼︎** **☠︎** **. "**

Gaster sighed as he waited for someone to pick up on the other side of the line. Even with the ringing of the phone beside his head, he could still hear you and Sans bickering silently in the kitchen. You were helping Papyrus clear the table while Sans was washing the dishes, and Gaster was making a phone call to a friend. Despite that you two were trying not to make too much noise, as not to attract any attention and be scolded, you were still butting heads.

" _Hello?_ " The other person's voice held a sort of warmth and fondness.

"Hello! Yes, I'm so glad I finally got ahold of you - sorry, this is Gaster-"

" _Calm down, friend._ " The other person gave a lighthearted chuckle. " _I can tell you seem a little scatter-brained this morning. Is something wrong?_ "

Gaster gave a deep sigh. "I... Well, I found a human yesterday evening." He muttered, knowing full well that his friend on the other line was waiting for him to explain. "They... defended Papyrus and Sans, and were injured in the process - I couldn't just let them die in the cold - they're only a child."

" _And it's a school day, so I'm guessing you'd like me to watch them while you're away at work..?_ " 

"Yes. I'm going to have to inform the King and Queen about the situation as well."

" _You seem to be dreading it..._ "

Gaster didn't reply, and his friend understood.

" _Alright, I'll watch them, but I'll have you know that I wouldn't suggest them lingering around the restaurant. Several Royal Guards hang around here in the afternoons, and we both know that not all of them are exactly human friendly - with what happened a few years ago especially..._ "

"I know, thank you." Gaster gave a relieved sigh. "I'm guessing you'll have them in the kitchen while you two are working, right?"

" _I'm afraid so, yes. There's really no other place to leave them._ "

"That's alright. Their injuries are mostly healed after eating breakfast with us, although their left leg and arm seem to still be in pain."

" _Oh dear, I almost forgot you aren't very skilled with healing magic._ "

"Could you by chance see if you could heal them further? Having an injured human child around... is dangerous."

His friend agreed, but Gaster highly doubted that they understood what he meant when he spoke his last sentence. He knew from experience that an injured, vulnerable human could be much more dangerous and feral than expected, even if they were a child. No matter what or who they were, when someone's cornered with no way out, the will to live can be the most powerful tool. Sometimes even more powerful than magic.

" ** _CRASH!_** "

Gaster had just hung up, and the loud noise from the kitchen made him assume the worst. He rushed to the doorway, his eyes glowing a fearful purple, his magic already surrounding his hollowed hands.

You were on the floor, a broken dish scattered all around you as Sans and Papyrus stared in horror. You clutched your left thigh where the still healing wound was reopened, blood slowly dripping down your pants. The shattered pieces of the plate were surrounding you, and didn't help when you found that there were some pieces that had cut your palms when collapsing on the floor.

The sight shocked Gaster, but it was a lot easier to handle than if you had tried to attack his sons. "What happened?" He asked, using his magic to lift and throw away the broken clay. He tried to get you to sit up, but you were curled over your injury.

You hesitated to answer. "I... I bumped into the side of the table and it jabbed my leg." You were lying through your teeth, but were in too much pain to care about your terrible lie. You watched as the blood flowed out, and you were terrified.

Everyone in the room knew you were lying, but said nothing. Gaster picked you up with his magic and hovered you into the living room again, giving his two sons a passing glance while he went to attend your reopened wound.

"Sans." He spoke, his stern tone showing. "I expect you to apologize later."

Sans could do nothing but nod, his eye lights nothing but shrunken dots as he stared at your retreating figure.

"S-SANS?" Papyrus called his older brother's attention. "W-WHY DID THEY... LIE?"

He looked down at Papyrus, the strained grin still on his face that he'd been wearing all day, and did nothing but shrug before turning back to his chore at the sink.

There were no more words exchanged as Sans replayed the last two minutes in his head.

**+**

_The moment Gaster exited the kitchen, saying he had to make a phone call, you immediately called Sans out._

_"What's your problem?" You snapped at him when he gave you another glare as you placed a plate in the sink beside him._

_He said nothing in return at first, only gritting his teeth as he tried to keep from doing anything reckless. "Humans shouldn't be here." Was the only thing that he muttered._

_"Why?" You were becoming annoyed. He kept repeating that phrase all this morning, and it was making you mad. Why shouldn't you be here? Why were they trying to kill you? You didn't understand!_

_"Because you should mind your own business."_

_"This is my business! I wanna know why everyone wants me dead!"_

_"Maybe because every dang human that comes down here causes problems, like you!"_

_"I saved you! You-" You struggled for some sort of intelligent insult, but decided to throw that courtesy out the window. "You asshole!"_

_Before you knew it, you were dragged forward by your soul, Sans's blue magic surrounding the little heart that popped out of your chest. Honestly you were too busy gawking at it to notice that his eye was pouring out blue smoke even more than when he first met you._

_"_ **_n e v e r_ ** _curse when Paps is around." He hissed, deathly quieter than normal before tossing you backwards. You stumbled back, your leg hitting the edge of the table and a dish clattering to the floor, breaking._

_Papyrus watched the whole thing with a horrified look in his eyes. Why wouldn't the two of you just get along?_

**+**

You could have easily said that he used his magic on you. You could have easily shifted the blame on him without a second though. You could have easily _killed_ him yesterday. So why didn't you?

"SANS?" Papyrus's voice snapped him out of his trance. "YOU'VE BEEN STANDING THERE WITH THE WATER RUNNING FOR FIVE MINUTES. AREN'T YOU DONE WITH THE DISHES?"

He looked down at his hands. Paps was right. He'd been spacing out so much that he didn't even realize that he was already done. He closed the tap and stepped off the stool.

"i'm gonna go get my books." He muttered to his brother before teleporting to his room.

He stayed there. He would stay here until it was time to go, because he still couldn't figure you out. He didn't know why, but you were threatening. Something about the way you walked - the way you talked and presented yourself was dangerous. You were dangerous.

Gaster knew you were too. He sighed once he finished re-wrapping your injuries. Hopefully they would do until you could get some actual healing magic applied. You sat on the couch, retreating into yourself again. You were closing yourself up after the incident in the kitchen. After his talk with you, and Papyrus forcing you out of your shell, he noticed you weren't as weary, but now you were back to wanting minimal contact. The scientist glanced behind him. Papyrus was waiting by the entrance to the kitchen, eagerly awaiting a sign for him to come bounding in.

He noticed it was almost time for the children to head to school, and it was long past when he should have been at work. It was alright though. He was the head scientist. It wasn't as if he was going to be scolded for being late.

Before Gaster signaled for Papyrus to enter the living room, he turned to you. "(Y/N)." He began. "Papyrus and Sans are going to be heading to school, meanwhile I've made arrangements for you to stay with a friend while I'm at work. They're quite skilled in healing magic and should be able to help your injuries. After school, I'll have Sans and Papyrus come by and pick you up."

You stared at him with a suspicious scowl. "Why are you treating me like I'm your kid? Shouldn't you just send me on my way the moment I get healed?"

By Asgore- did you _always_ have to ask the difficult questions?

"Because you're only a child."

"Then why'd you ask me to explain myself earlier?"

He had no response for it other than a sigh.

You bit at your own lip, realizing what maybe... "Sans was right, huh?" This caused Gaster to look up from the medical equipment he was putting away. "The humans that fall... They're all just trouble, right? That's why you can't let me go." It was a statement.

How was he supposed to refute this? He saw the confused, saddened, and angry expression making its way onto your face. You were only a child, yet here you were, facing racism on full blast because unlike on the surface, you were the _only_ human down here right now. So all their prejudice fell on _you_ and _you alone_.

"DADDY!" Papyrus could wait no longer, and Gaster was honestly glad that he interrupted your conversation. "WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!"

Oh shit. Gaster glanced up at the clock, his eye sockets widening and a comical floundered expression on his face. He teleported the medical kit back into the lab with a single tap on the item as he scrambled about.

"SANS!" His father called. "We're going to be late! Let's go!" He grabbed Papyrus by the back of his scarf and you by your uninjured arm. "Sans!"

"right here, dad." He spoke in lazy tones and looked a lot calmer than he did about 10 minutes ago.

You weren't expecting Gaster to teleport you all at once. You suddenly saw the world around you spin in several different directions, then landed in the snow face first because of the dizzying experience. You groaned, feeling your head ache at the sudden change of scenery, and then you shivered when you realized that you weren't exactly dressed the most appropriate. You were still in your torn, ragged clothes.

Gaster kissed his son's skulls goodbye and then flashed in the blink of an eye, not even waiting for you to adjust before the two of you appeared in a cozy family restaurant. You doubled over, covering your mouth and tried not to throw up. You would piece it together later that it was teleportation, but for now, your head spun and was able to barely register where you were.

"Gaster?"

"I'm so sorry to leave in a hurry like this, **Flamia** , but I can't even begin to tell you how late I am. Tell your husband I said hello! Have a good day, goodbye!" He was gone just as quickly as he appeared, and you were left alone in a foreign place.

You only just finally regained your composure, swallowing whatever bile that was threatening to come out of your mouth. Only then did you look up to see a pink flame monster before you. You definitely were not expecting that and you took a cautious step back, your eyes wide.

"Oh dear..." She muttered with a slight frown. "I don't remember Gaster saying that you were this jumpy-" She stopped mid-sentence. She narrowed her 'eyes' at you. It was weird, but you could see her large round glasses squint with her.

She surveyed you, her motherly instincts kicking in. Messy hair. Scratches, cuts, and bruises that looked new and barely patched up. Bandages wrapped outside of your bloodstained and ripped clothing. Snow all over your shoes - not to mention that the clothes you wore weren't meant for such weather in the first place. Gaster was just lucky that he told her that he'd fed you this morning, otherwise she would have chopped him up and served him as a special dish herself.

She frowned. He would be receiving a long scolding from her later about this. "Come, dear. I won't hurt you." She placed her hands behind her back and turned around, heading for the kitchen area to the far left of the cozy restaurant.

She stood and waited by the door for you to follow when you were comfortable, so after a minute of staring at her just standing there, you limped your way over to her. She knitted her eyebrows in worry when she saw you limping. You were hurt a lot worse than she thought you'd be. Had Gaster wasted any magic trying to heal you at all?

You walked slowly, taking in your surroundings before you walked into the backroom kitchen. The place had a wooden floor, booths and tables, decorated with low burning lamps, as Flamia herself was actually one of the sources of light - you didn't hear a heater either, but it was warm here nonetheless.

You walked beside her as she opened the door to the kitchen and led you inside. "Let's get you healed and cleaned up." She spoke.

As you looked back at her, you could see the ghost of a smile forming behind the flames that made up her body, and her warm motherly aura filled you with **determination** and **hope**.


	7. 6 || Warm Flames, Cozy Restaurants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Grillby's. Enjoy your stay.

**" ❄︎✌︎😐︎✋︎☠︎☝︎ 👍︎✌︎☼︎☜︎ ⚐︎☞︎ 👍︎☟︎✋︎☹︎👎︎☼︎☜︎👎︎ 🕈︎✌︎💧︎ 👎︎✋︎☞︎☞︎✋︎👍︎🕆︎☹︎❄︎ ☞︎⚐︎☼︎ 💧︎⚐︎💣︎☜︎⚐︎☠︎☜︎ 🕈︎☟︎⚐︎ ☟︎✌︎☼︎👎︎☹︎✡︎ ☼︎☜︎💣︎☜︎💣︎👌︎☜︎☼︎💧︎ ❄︎⚐︎ ❄︎✌︎😐︎☜︎ 👍︎✌︎☼︎☜︎ ⚐︎☞︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎💣︎💧︎☜︎☹︎✞︎☜︎💧︎. "**

Flamia had been extremely kind to you in the 5 minutes that you'd known her so far. She sat you down and took the time to heal your wounds flawlessly. Gaster really was right, she was talented when it came to healing magic. Afterwards, she rushed you to the locker room in the back, and handed you a fresh pair of clothes, although they were apparently borrowed from her own son. 

The folded clothing she'd given you were a freshly ironed white collared dress-shirt and a pair of black slacks to match. Honestly it was a little too formal for you right now, but you appreciated the gesture regardless, and it was nice to wear some decent clothes. 

"Does it fit?" She asked when you came out, glad to see you looked a little more presentable. You'd combed your hair and the tangles out from them as well. 

"Yeah." You nodded before folding the sleeves and pant legs at the bottom. "It's a little long, but it fits enough. Thank you." 

She smiled when you thanked her. "It's no problem, dear." Now that you were truly paying attention to her, she was quite soft spoken and gentle. Even though she was a fire monster, her warmth was never overwhelming, only calming. "Now, I'd like to ask you a few quest-"

She never got to finish her sentence before another monster came bursting into the kitchen from the backdoor. It hit the wall behind it with a loud smack, and caused you to nearly jump out of your own skin. Shuffling backwards at the new person, you expected them to be angry.

"HONEY, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS!" It was a loud male voice, who sounded far too excited for your still jumpy state. 

You found yourself backing up against the wall, as the kitchen's front doors only opened one way, and you didn't feel safe walking inches closer to the man in order to open it. He was another fire monster, but colored yellow, with the tips of his flames a lime green. They were lively and flickering about, and you could see the wide grin on his face. 

"Someone finally beat up that kid who kept coming in here and stealing all the napkins and sugar packets!" He seemed overjoyed and continued to ramble, but Flamia frowned. "I was thinkin' it might be Sans, since I've seen them picking on him, but then I realized that he couldn't hurt a fly so-"

" **Blaze**!" Flamia's sudden shout was even more terrifying to you than the over enthusiastic monster who just burst in. She finally caught his attention, and as he shut up, she gestured to your terrified form in the corner, eyes wide and staring at him. 

"Oh..." Blaze finally said, calming down. "Oh, gosh. You look terrified, kid." He muttered, rubbing the back of his head nervously, realizing that the glares his wife sent him were because he'd spooked you. "S-sorry..?" He suggested with a sheepish grin. 

Flamia sighed and turned back around to look at you, her hand extended to you. "He won't harm you either. He might be loud, but I'm sure you've met Papyrus. My husband's just as much of a goofball as he is." She had a fond and loving smile on her face, and you couldn't help but be coaxed out of your defensive position. 

You didn't take her hand, but you did ease up and pry yourself away from the door. You stood behind Flamia as she spoke to her husband. 

"Blaze, please be more quiet, my love. When Gaster arrived with them, they were badly injured, and it took quite a lot of magic on my part to heal them to this point." She sighed, "And they're very correctly nervous." 

The yellow-green fire monster looked past his wife towards you as you stood behind her. He nodded to her and held out his hand for you to shake, leaning down to match your height.

"It's nice to meet you." He said with a blinding grin. "My name is Blaze, a friend of Gaster's. You've already met my wife, Flamia, but I suppose I should apologize for my sudden appearance as well. I guess I just didn't expect for you to be so jumpy." He scratched the side of his face with a sheepish chuckle. "And what might your name be?" 

You stared at his hand, and didn't know if you should shake it, as he was made of fire. "(Y/N)." You said shifting back and forth on your feet. 

Blaze's smile lessened when he realized that you were nervous enough to turn down his handshake, but it returned when you'd told him your name. "(Y/N), huh? You look about my son's age. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?"

Flamia had figured the two of you would be alright with him for now and smiled gently before she left the kitchen. The restaurant still needed to be ran after all.

"Twelve." You muttered, watching Flamia exit the kitchen. Sure you figured that Flamia was right about her husband being a harmless goofball, but that didn't mean you weren't any less skeptical enough to feel just as comfortable without her around. You didn't know why, but her calm and warm demeanor caused your guard to melt in no time. 

Blaze seemed kind as well though. "Hah!" He laughed aloud. "I was right! You're the same age as my son and his friend! Why, you'd probably be in school right now if it wasn't for you being in danger!" 

You stared at him, your expression turning to complete confusion. "Oh yeah, that's right, I almost forgot." He continued. "You kind of have to stay here in the back for the whole day, otherwise you'd probably get skewered by some Royal Guards outside. We do run a restaurant after all, and we're fairly popular! I hope you don't mind."

He was weird. He was so, _so_ weird. First he acts like a good friend of yours despite that you just met him, then informs you that you're in danger, and proceeds to tell you that you'd have to stay in one confined space if you wanted to survive. It wouldn't be so weird if he didn't say everything in that overly cheery tone of his. 

He could tell you looked a little uncomfortable and he took a step back, realizing you needed a little space. He tapped his chin before he got an idea, the tips of his green flames flaring up in excitement before he left the kitchen to go into a back storage room. 

"Here!" He said pulling out a worn shoe box. "My son used to play with these all the time when he'd stick around during break. He didn't have many friends before, so he'd usually just stay with us after school. He's a pretty, _bright_ boy." He snickered at his own joke. "But ever since he's made a few new friends, he's been hanging out with them instead of us." He almost sounded sad. "You can entertain yourself with these if you'd like." 

He placed the box on one of the empty break tables and opened the cover. Inside there was an array of things. A yo-yo, a few old action figures from cartoons you felt like you'd seen on the surface, a notebook, pens, crayons, and a leather-bound journal. You stared at the contents, realizing that yes, you'd have more than enough to keep yourself busy for the next few hours. What you didn't expect though, was when you looked back up at Blaze, his lime-green eyes stared down at the box with hints of sadness. 

"Is something wrong?" You asked. 

You really did always ask the questions no one wanted to answer. 

"No." Blaze said without missing a beat. A gentle smile graced his face and he moved to pat your head, but stopped when you tensed. Right, you were still jumpy. "Anyway, if you need anything, then just shout. Open the kitchen door just enough to catch our attention, though. If someone that's not supposed to see you does, then you might get into trouble." You watched him leave with his hands adjusting his tie and wrapping an apron around his waist. 

You were by yourself now, and a series of actions you could take ran through your head. You could run now and take your chances of making it through to the end of this underground civilization. You could make some noise and get yourself killed right now. Or you could sit here and wait to see how things played out. 

So you took a seat at the break table in the back, simulating what could happen next. Well, for one thing, Gaster could kill you himself; you knew he didn't trust you. Maybe he'd tell their ' _Royal Guards_ ' and they'd take you away, then kill you. Or perhaps, they'd do the opposite. If by some insane luck struck you, then maybe they'd help you find a way out. Maybe they'd warm up to you the same way Flamia and you did, and maybe they'd find it in themselves to get you out of here. 

Because despite that you'd hated those words, Sans was right. You didn't belong here. You didn't know or remember exactly where you belonged, but you knew it was somewhere on the surface. Otherwise, why would you be getting all this danger thrown your way? Why would you be so desperate to reach the surface again? 

You glanced at the box on the table again, rummaging through it for what had caught your attention the first time. You pulled out the notebook and leather bound journal. Maybe you could keep a journal or record of some sort about your stay here in the underground. Who knows what you might gain from this. 

You flipped through the spiral notebook and found that it was mostly childish drawings. They were all kind of cute, and some even had pictures of cartoonish looking characters. You couldn't take this one. It was important. You could tell, just by remembering the look in Blaze's eyes. The leather journal though, was blank from what you could tell. Besides a single scribbled line in one of the pages, there was nothing in it. You could use this, and you would be asking Blaze later on if you could have it. It'd be useful. Probably... Maybe you were overthinking things. 

Nonetheless, you supposed you'd doodle or even mess with the action figures or yo-yo inside the box to waste time. You'd probably be here for at least another six hours. 

For once, you kind of wished you were at school like Sans and Papyrus. It would beat sitting here being brain dead for six hours straight. 

And yes, it was a long six and a half hours, but it was alright because eventually you'd taken a short nap sitting up against the break table. You didn't notice until you woke up and rubbed your eyes, noticing that Flamia had just placed a blanket around your shoulders, a plate of fries on the table, and left back to work. You glanced up at the clock. It was twelve in the afternoon, so you'd been here for four hours, but you guessed that the school children would be having lunch soon, if not already. 

"Mom, Dad? They just let us go for lunch, do you have anything to-" 

Your head snapped up from your plate of fries, a few already in your mouth and sticking out comically as you stared at the new monster before you. He was a fire monster just like his parents, although his flames were a calming but bright two-toned orange. A pair of square glasses laid on his face, and his yellow eyes were just as wide as yours as you stared at each other. His lava-like mouth was slightly agape, and just as he was about to take a step away and run out of the back door he'd just entered through, someone else stepped in. 

"Hey Grillbz, you got a bottle a ketchup you could spare?" 

The chunky skeleton wore a lazy grin on his face, his hands shoved into his pockets with a friendliness you'd never seen from him before. His eye lights weren't retracted down to barely visible dots or empty sockets or that dangerous blue when he used his magic. His smile was genuine, and he seemed relaxed. Papyrus was right behind him, his red scarf trailing behind in the snowy wind. 

"What are you staring at, Gri-" Sans's eyes met with yours and all his friendly, relaxed demeanor fell away. His smile dropped and his eye sockets were empty as he stared at you. 

"Stop it." You hissed when he stared at you with his threatening gaze. "I haven't even done or said anything and you already look like you wanna kill me again. We already went through this, this morning." 

"(Y/N), HELLO! I DID NOT THINK YOU WOULD BE HERE FOR LUNCH TOO!" Papyrus said exclaimed excitedly, startling Grillby. 

"W-wait what?" He looked confusedly between you and Papyrus. "Paps, you - you know this human?" He took a nervous step back, to which Sans reacted with a step forward. 

"YES! THEY WERE THE ONE WHO SAVED US, YESTERDAY! ALTHOUGH, SANS HAS A TENDENCY TO BE RUDE TO THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY HELPED US." Papyrus pouted at his brother, his hands on his hips. 

"Saved?" 

That was none of the children's voices, but Grillby knew it well. 

"Dad!" The little orange flame monster ran toward his father, desperately clinging to his pant leg. 

"Grillby, calm down. There's nothing to be afraid of." Blaze said gently rubbing circles into his son's back. "This is (Y/N), they're staying with Sans's and their family for a little while before Gaster comes back with information of what to do." 

" _It's_ **staying**?" Sans asked, his voice low and spitting poison as his hands clenched into fists. "My dad said that _it's_ going to **stay** with us?" 

Blaze knew that tone of voice well. He'd heard Gaster use it during dire situations. "Sans, calm down." He said sternly. "There's no point in being angry and doing something reckless before you bring it up with your father." 

_No, no of course not._

Sans thought bitterly. There was _never_ any point in doing anything hasty, now was there? Sans had to force himself to breathe in steady patterns when he realized Papyrus's gloved hand wrapped around his. 

"Cmon you three, I'll get you all some lunch in the front." Blaze said hurrying the other three children out of the kitchen. "I'm sure you're hungry after everything that's going on at school." 

You weren't entirely sure what Blaze meant by that last phrase, but a part of you had a feeling you'd know what he meant by the end of the day. Call it a hunch, but for some reason it filled you with intense **determination** and **hope**. 


	8. 7 || Difficult Decisions, Long Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asgore's a little more trigger happy than he should be, and so are you.

**"** 👍︎ **☟︎** ✋︎ **☹︎** 👎︎✡︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎❄︎ **☼︎** 🕆︎ **☹︎** ✡︎👎︎ **⚐︎** **☟︎** ✌︎✞︎ **☜︎** ❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** 🕈︎ **⚐︎** **☼︎** 💧︎❄︎❄︎✋︎💣︎✋︎ **☠︎** **☝︎** **. "**

The soles of his shoes clicked across the golden corridor's floor, the echoes bounding off the walls. Gaster's hands clenched tightly together as he held them behind his back. He was already becoming increasingly nervous about breaking the news of your arrival to the King and Queen. 

A part of himself wondered why he was so hesitant to tell them, as it had been himself who presented his findings to them. He really hoped you didn't meet the requirements, otherwise nothing could help you. Perhaps he didn't wish for you to be killed because you reminded him so much of Sans, but not exactly in the best way. Granted he'd only known you for a few hours, but the way you presented yourself when threatened - he remembered seeing Sans that was for the first time, and he always remembered realizing just how strong Sans could be when he grew into an adult. 

You both had that look of desperation - no, determination - when you were cornered. He'd seen it on Sans's face when he passed the children who'd pick on him. He remembered when he'd come home one day and Sans's HP had been reduced to half, but he'd been in a better state than the children he'd fought against to protect his brother. Gaster spent many hours telling him to control himself better because he was so much stronger but more fragile than the other children his age. There was no use in doing something reckless and regretting it later. 

"Dr. Gaster, it's good to see you old friend. Is there something wrong? You don't usually ask for a meeting this quickly unless it's something important." **Asgore** sat in the middle of the throne room beside his wife, **Toriel**. The two of them were having tea and butterscotch-cinnamon pie like nothing was wrong. 

Before Gaster opened his mouth, he thought about his next words extremely carefully. In all honesty, if he wished to avoid disaster for a little longer, he could simply not tell them. He could delay the information until there was no other choice but to reveal your presence. After all, they'd know no better, but the scientist found it difficult to lie straight to the innocent man's face with his wife right there. Despite that Asgore wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, he was still a benevolent and respected king. Besides, it was fine. Toriel was usually the brains behind the two anyways. 

Asgore gestured to a cushioned seat in front of him, usually for guests. Gaster shifted for a moment, hesitating before he took a seat, Toriel standing from her own throne. "I'll go get an extra piece of pie and some tea." She said, exiting the room. 

"Gaster?" Asgore spoke up with worry in his voice. "Something is wrong, right? You wouldn't be so silent otherwise." 

Gaster sighed. "I'm afraid you are correct, although I'm not quite sure how you'll take this news." There was no use in hesitating now, as the King had caught on. "Another human has fallen down." 

His words caused Asgore to stiffen, the calm atmosphere turning tense. "Have they hurt anyone yet?" He asked, his eyebrows knitting together. 

Gaster began to sweat, despite that he was made of bones. Did he have to ask the question that was the most complicated? "Yes, but the human is a child." He said, catching the King's attention. "They've hurt a few other children in Snowdin forest while protecting my own sons, your majesty." 

Asgore's expression turned serious. "This is quite the predicament." He muttered. "If the child is dangerous then they have to be handled immediately, but the situation they presented themselves in..." He had trailed off before bringing up the dreaded topic that the Royal Scientist wished to avoid. "You'd told us last week that it might be possible to break the barrier with a certain type of human soul." Asgore said solemnly. 

Gaster's eyes widened. Oh no, this was the worst possible outcome happening right before his eyes. "Y-yes but your majesty... That was only a theory, and they're only a child." He said, glancing to the side with a conflicted expression. 

"Wingdings... I'm sure that much alike myself, you want nothing but the best for your children." Asgore gave a sigh and looked out the window of the throne room, the light pouring in with its golden rays. "My own children have left me behind, but I'd like for the next generation to be able to see the surface someday, my friend."

The scientist almost winced. Asgore simply had to hit all his sore spots, didn't he? Gaster knew how much his boys wanted to be on the surface as well. Sans was always mesmerized by the idea of stars, and he spent a lot of time in Waterfall when he realized that the ceiling crystals looked similar to them. Papyrus had loved the car magazines that dropped into the garbage dump and wished when he got older that he'd be able to drive one. So much so, that Gaster had Blaze help him construct a bedframe in the shape of one. 

"Asgore, the human must have a very _specific_ type of soul in order to break the barrier alone." He tried to deter the goat monster in front of him. " **Determination** is not a trait that is common, even amongst humans. Let alone one that has that trait in such high amounts as to break the barrier by itself." 

"Then I'd like for you to do some tests to see if they'd be able to." He said, sitting up straighter. Asgore was sure of what he wanted, and Gaster could do nothing to convince him otherwise now. "Keep the child close and report back to me on their soul type and strength. And if this child continues to hurt anyone, then I will not hesitate to do justice for my people." He said with a frown. 

He stood up and turned around, his cloak fluttering behind him as he walked away. "You are dismissed." Gaster almost missed the look of pain on the king's face as he made his decision final. 

Asgore had always been a soft-hearted individual, but leaders always had to make the hard decisions for the sake of the people they led. 

+

**+**

+

"They should be here by now." Blaze muttered as he stared at the kitchen counter with a worried frown. "Maybe... No, no, I'd told him to avoid it." He kept muttering and pacing to himself, as you stood in front of him, holding the leather notebook and waiting for an opportunity to ask him if you could use it. 

"Mr. Blaze?" You asked aloud for the 4th time. "Mr. Blaze!" 

He finally snapped his head up, realizing he was ignoring you by accident. "Oh! Sorry, kiddo. Is there something you need?" 

"I noticed that this journal is completely blank. Could I take it as a diary or something?" You asked, showing the leather cover. 

Blaze's eyes widened. "Well, honestly I don't see why not." He said, shrugging. "Just make sure to take good care of it, alright?" He received a quick nod from you before you moved onto your next question. 

"You said that Sans, Grillby, and Papyrus should be here by now. Why aren't they?" 

Gosh, you really did ask all the difficult questions. A sweat like substance formed on his flames as he avoided your eye contact. "I dunno, maybe they went to play a little more before coming around. They do that sometimes." He chuckled nervously. 

You narrowed your eyes at him. "How long do they usually stay out?" You asked. 

"Umm... Sometimes half an hour. Sometimes longer."

"I do believe that's enough, love." Flamia said at last, peering in from the front door of the kitchen. "Here, switch with me would you? I have a few questions to ask (Y/N) before they go."

Blaze gladly took his wife's place at the front as to avoid your conversation. She took a seat at the break table and patiently waited for you to take a seat beside her. You sat across from her, and she immediately began your next conversation. 

"(Y/N), would you mind if I asked about how your journey in the Underground has been so far?" 

She wasted no time with her questions. You liked that. You didn't exactly take to when people avoided the topic, only for you to have to coax it out of them later. 

"I fell down in the Ruins." You began. "I... I think a little frog monster attacked me, and then I ran because I didn't know what it was at first. Then I met Vegetoid and he helped me exit the ruins." You were starting to realize just how short your journey really was so far. "I got to Snowdin Forest, and then I heard Papyrus calling for help, so I ran to go see what was wrong. It was my first time seeing so many monsters at once, but that didn't matter because I just saw a crowd of kids around Sans and Papyrus. At first I thought they were trying to see what was wrong too -... But then I saw them attacking Papyrus and Sans, and I moved before I could even think." Flamia stared at you with wide eyes. "I ended up fighting those kids, but they hurt me pretty bad. I don't remember much after that. Only that I woke up the next morning with... **Gaster** looking at me."

"You mean... You only just fell down here _yesterday_?" She seemed nearly breathless at this new information, and she actually caught herself stop breathing for a moment when you nodded. You'd been through so much in the last day and a half - it must have been traumatic. No wonder why you were so jumpy this morning. 

She tried to change the topic. "What about your life on the surface?" She asked. "How and... Why did you fall down?" 

You shook your head with a disappointed expression. "I don't really remember." 

"You don't remember anything? Anything at all?"

You gave a contempt stare at the table in front of you. "I remember some stuff. Really unimportant stuff, like how I went to summer camp. I remember making friends with someone and their brother. That I had a camp counselor, and that I lived on the surface, but nothing else." 

"Do you remember their names?" Her eyebrows were knitted together in worry. 

"Not really, no. Sometimes I think I might, and then it's just... Gone." You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to remember their faces, maybe their names, or voices, but came up with nothing but very vague silhouettes. 

Flamia realized that you were thinking, but after a few minutes of silence, continued with her questions. "What do you think of us monsters?"

You opened your eyes again, confused by her question. "What do you mean?"

She smiled, partly glad that you were innocent enough to not immediately understand her question. It showed that you weren't as cunning as you seemed to be when speaking with Blaze earlier. "Do you think we're nice? Perhaps mean or even dangerous?" 

You only shrugged in response. "I dunno." You muttered. "I haven't talked much to anyone else other than you and Gaster." Your neutral expression turned sour. "And Sans." 

She realized your distaste when speaking about Sans, and remembered the dispute that Blaze had described to her a little earlier. "Do you not like Sans?"

"No." You spat with an annoyed look on your face. "I don't know why, but he seems to hate me just because I'm human." You crossed your arms. "Which I don't get because I just saved him and Papyrus yesterday from being pummeled by some idiots in the forest." 

Oh, it seemed like everything was coming together now. Flamia frowned when she realized that the reason you two didn't get along was because of how weary Sans was of humans, and how your first encounter was quite violent. Perhaps if you'd met on better terms, then maybe you two would have been friends. 

"And what about Papyrus?" She asked, hoping to find out if the smaller skeleton's usual purity wasn't clouded by paranoia or fear. 

"He's funny." You said, beginning to loosen up again. "He reminds me of that friend's younger brother." You leaned against the table, your elbow propped up on the table, and your face leaning on your hand. "Now can I ask you a question, Mrs. Flamia?" 

She was surprised by the sudden change. She'd never seen you so relaxed before-

"Where are Sans, Papyrus, and Grillby?" You gave her a serious stare, one she didn't expect from someone who had been so afraid just this morning. "Mr. Blaze tried to avoid my question, but I know something's wrong. I wanna know what." You had that same look that Sans did after he saw Grillby's glasses were crushed by some bullies from school outside the restaurant. It was more diluted, and obviously not directed towards her, but the idea that a child such as yourself could hold such an intense emotion in your eyes spoke volumes. Gaster was right. You were dangerous. 

The look in your eyes was a mix of emotions and intentions you couldn't quite name, but you knew from the look on her face that your stare did it's intended job. It was supposed to be similar to the one that Gaster gave you this morning when asking about you beating the other kids up. You made sure it was less threatening, as you didn't want to scare her. You just wanted her to know that you were stronger than you looked because you were filled with **determination** and ANGER. 


	9. 8 || Different Place, Same Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You really hate bullies, and you finally have a decent conversation with Sans... Kind of.

**"** ❄︎ **☼︎** 🕆︎💧︎❄︎👍︎✌︎ **☠︎** **⚐︎☠︎** **☹︎** ✡︎👌︎ **☜︎** **☜︎** ✌︎ **☼︎** **☠︎** **☜︎** 👎︎ **☟︎☜︎** **☼︎** **☜︎** ✌︎ **☠︎** 👎︎✋︎❄︎✋︎💧︎✌︎✞︎ **☜︎** **☼︎** ✡︎ **☞︎** **☼︎** ✌︎ **☝︎** ✋︎ **☹︎** **☜︎** ❄︎ **☟︎** ✋︎ **☠︎** **☝︎** ❄︎ **⚐︎** **☟︎** **⚐︎** **☹︎** 👎︎ **. "**

You ran as quickly as you could through the cold snowy weather, your feet crunching the snow underneath. You had left your torn sweater with Blaze, as he promised to sew it up as best he could this morning, so you were wearing nothing but the long sleeved dress shirt and pants that Flamia had given to you. You were cold, but that was the last thing on your mind as your breath came out in large puffs of steam.

If you were honest, you didn't know the way to the school, but you guessed the location from where the children were leaving from, and from the glances you took while teleported there. You kept your head down to keep from attracting too much attention, but it was hard enough as it was when you were human.

When Flamia told you that it was likely they might have ran into trouble on their way home from school, you immediately bolted through the backdoor. By now, you didn't even know why you bothered. The cold temperatures were numbing you in both body and mind, but when you saw Grillby's distinct flames from behind a line of trees near the school building, you remembered.

It didn't matter where you were, the kids were always the same. There would always be someone who hated someone else, and took it out on them in the worst ways. There would always be someone who needed a taste of their own medicine to stop.

"GET AWAY FROM THEM!" You yelled as you ran to the line of trees where Grillby stood in front of Sans and Papyrus. "Get out of here right now, or I'll _show_ _you_ why humansare so dangerous."

Every monster present, with the exception of Papyrus, stiffened. You recognized the bear girl from yesterday, and she looked the most terrified, but it was Sans who looked the most aggressive. Grillby and the other two monsters were confused, but the difference was that Grillby knew you wouldn't hurt him - not after what his mother said about you. You were just scared - but right now, you couldn't be more terrifying.

You had a fire of anger in your eyes, and although you no longer had your stick, the bear girl didn't take any chances, she ran in a hurry from the group. In front of you were another floppy-eared, green monster, but he wasn't a bunny, you knew that much because of the blue rabbit companion beside him.

"Coward!" The bunny monster cried as the girl ran. "I heard about you yesterday." He said pointing a claw at you. "You knocked my sister out in the middle of Snowdin Forest, and Dogoro told everyone about you! Just wait, you won't last much longer human! If you hurt any more of us-"

You didn't let him finish his sentence before you tackled him to the floor. Pinning him down by pushing your forearm against his chest, you took him by his ears and said, "I don't care if I die today, tomorrow, or whenever. As long as I'm alive I won't let anyone bully someone weaker than them, ya' hear?" You let go of his ears, but kept him pinned down, even as the other bully tried to pull you off, you resisted. "I've had enough of people like you on the surface and here."

You let yourself be pulled away by the floppy-eared green monster and Grillby. The two bullies running off into the distance. You looked behind you again, to see a conflicted Grillby shrinking into himself, a mesmerized Papyrus, and Sans whose eye was a bright and flickering blue.

Papyrus ran up to you, despite his older brother's warnings and he took your hand in his. "YOU WERE SO COOL!" He shouted excitedly. "YOU STOPPED THE MEAN KIDS AGAIN TODAY! I BET YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO BE A ROYAL GUARD SOMEDAY, (Y/N)!"

"they can't be a Royal Guard, Paps." Sans said, his eye sockets empty. "they're _human_."

Papyrus deflated. "OH... RIGHT." He muttered. "THAT'S OK! YOU'RE STILL SUPER COOL! BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT BY ' _BULLY_ ' WHAT IS THAT?"

"It's someone else who makes others feel bad by making fun of them or beating them up, most of the time because it makes _them_ feel better." You said with a slight frown.

"OH. THAT'S NOT NICE. THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE THAT WHO TRY TO HURT SANS."

"that's enough, Paps."

"NO SANS, IT'S NOT OK!" His brother said, still holding your hand as he turned to face him with the beginnings of tears in his eyes. "YOU ALWAYS GET HURT AND YOU ONLY HAVE ONE HP. WHAT HAPPENS IF - IF..."

"It's alright, Papyrus." Grillby spoke up this time, placing a hand on his shoulder, and glancing at you.

"Yeah... Bullies might be around forever, but you get stronger." You said patting the small skeleton's skull. "And I think you're brother's a lot stronger than he looks, too." Your last comment wasn't encouraging, but Papyrus wouldn't know that. You glared at Sans from where you stood a few feet away. You knew Sans was hiding something and you wanted him to know you did. You knew that he had to be strong. Someone who's eyes shone like that when they were threatened was bound to be strong when pushed far enough.

Grillby noticed it though, and he knew that you were right. There had been a time where Grillby had been the one hurt, and Sans could hold himself back no longer. That day, he'd nearly killed someone. The little fire monster shivered at the memory, but pushed it aside to listen to Papyrus's next comment.

"BUT WHAT IF HE'S NOT STRONG ENOUGH?"

"Pap, I'm right here, y'know." Sans deadpanned with an offended glance.

"WILL YOU PROTECT US, (Y/N)?"

Sans's eye lights returned only to stare shocked at his own little brother, Grillby's glasses widening comically to show his own emotion. You could only stare at him wide-eyed with your lips tightening into a thin line.

He stared at you with little orange tears near the corners of his eye sockets, and that innocent plea couldn't be denied. "Yeah." He lit up with the brightest smile you'd seen from him, the tears gone and replaced with **hope**. He dragged you forward, only to take his brother's hand in his other gloved one.

"YAY! THAT MEANS WE CAN GO HOME NOW WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT ANY MORE _BULLIES_!" He was testing out his new word for the mean children his brother often encountered.

Grillby followed behind quickly after the three of you. "W-wait, Papy, maybe we should stop by my parent's restaurant before you all head home. It looks like (Y/N) has a scratch on their arm and - wait, are those my clothes?"

"Oh sh-oooot?" You tried not to curse around Papyrus like Sans said this morning. "I forgot my journal at the restaurant too."

"OK, LET'S GO TO GRILLBY'S THEN!" Papyrus changed directions suddenly and caused you to crash into Sans as he jolted around, not letting go of either of your hands.

The two of you shot each other a glare, and continued to do so until the four of you reached the family restaurant. You all entered through the front door, lucky that there weren't many people there. Although, you began to realize again that you'd been walking freely around Snowdin without something to hide your identity. You guessed that if they really wanted you dead, someone would have said something by now.

"Papyrus, Sans, Grillby!" Blaze moved around the counter quickly when he saw the three of them. "You're alright! Nothing happened did it? You guys came late again, and rush-hour just finished. I'm sorry we couldn't go looking for you. I know how those kids-"

"It's fine." Sans said with his usual grin. You still weren't used to it. "Nothing happened. Just (Y/N) making a little bit of a commotion."

Blaze glanced in your direction. "Right, Flamia told me about how you left in a hurry." He surveyed you. "You were worried about them too, right?" You could feel your cheeks flush a slight pink as he called you out, but said nothing.

Papyrus smiled brightly when he learned that you were worried, but Sans's smile faltered. He was still confused about you, but his grin returned as soon as Blaze began to survey all of you for injuries. Other than the scratch on your arm, all of you were fine.

He gave a sigh and ushered the four of you into the kitchen. "Well if you four are hungry, then I can whip something up for you - oh, and there are band-aids in the storage room if you need them." You knew he was talking to you specifically, even if he didn't say it.

The four of you were left alone, and the silence was killing you. "Umm... I'll go get those band-aids." Grillby left.

"And I'll go help!" Papyrus left too.

Oh that was a bad decision.

It was just you and Sans, and the two of you stared at each other silently. There wasn't as much aggression as this morning's staring contest, but there were still a lot of negative feelings between the two of you. Although considering how the two of you weren't at each other's throats, this could be considered development, right?

You had a couple questions for Sans though. "What's HP?"

It was the most basic question, and even Sans couldn't ignore that you had no idea about simple stuff like this. "HoPe."

"Hope? Are you sure it's not Health Points? You know, like a video game?"

He paused, giving you a distasteful glare. "monsters are _not_ a video game, so no. _not_ like a video game."

"Then explain it to me." You remained neutral throughout all your questioning, and it was unnerving to Sans how someone else could hide their intentions as well as he often could.

"it affects the amount of damage you can take, and if your HP reaches zero, then you die."

"Why do you only have one HP?"

"none of your business."

"Fine, but if you only have one HP, then how bad of an injury would it take to make that go down to zero?"

His eye lit up a bright blue, and it bellowed smoke like a steam engine. " ** _w h y a r e y o u a s k i n g ?_** "

You realized that might have been a more threatening question than you thought. "Never mind." 

The conversation ended just as awkwardly as it began, and the two of you were left to face away from each other, hands stuffed into pockets. By the time Grillby and Papyrus got back, you figured they took so long on purpose. Maybe they had the idea that if the two of you spent a little time alone, you'd get along. They'd be disappointed to find that if left alone for too long, the two of you might just start fighting.

"WE'RE BACK!" Papyrus called with a little box of band-aids in his hands.

"If you sit down (Y/N), we can look at your scratch and-"

"It's fine Grillby." You said waving it off. "I don't think I need to sit down for you to put on a band-aid." Papyrus ran over and gently applied one to the scratch on your arm, and business was done. "See, everything's fine. It's just a scratch, after all." You made your way over to the break table again and picked up the leather journal and pen.

"ARE WE GONNA GO NOW?" Papyrus asked, his head tilting to the side.

"We probably should. I'm sure you guys have homework, or whatever." You said pulling your shirt sleeve down to cover the band-aid.

"Oh, you're leaving already?" Flamia stood behind the four of you, and you whipped your head around. You weren't exactly ok with people sneaking up behind you. "We haven't had the chance to fix your jacket yet."

"It's alright, Mrs. Flamia. You can fix it whenever you have time. I trust that you'll take care of it."

She was mildly shocked by the confident smile you wore, and the blatant show of trust you now had in them, but it caused her to smile warmly back at you. "Alright then, we'll have Grillby bring it to you when it's done. You three have a safe trip home, alright?"

"Alright, welp." Sans took Papyrus's red gloved hand and grabbed you by the back of your shirt collar. You shouted in protest as he balled your shirt into his boney hand. "I guess we'll see you later."

The three of you were teleported to the front of his house in the blink of an eye, and it still made you just as sick as it did this morning. You groaned as he let you go and you leaned onto the front porch, trying to stop your head from spinning.

Sans smirked when he saw you try and regain yourself from the teleportation. "heh, what? can't handle a little _magic_?" He asked. "or do you not have the _backbone_ for it?"

You chuckled at his joke, but continued to glare at him. "Because I thought that was funny and Papyrus is right there, I won't flip you off." The motion sickness finally stopped and you quit leaning onto the porch's wooden pillar for support.

"SANS!" Papyrus whined. "THAT WAS A TERRIBLE JOKE!"

Sans grinned as Papyrus complained, taking out a key to unlock the door and shrugging. "c'mon Pap, I think that joke was pretty _humerus_." Papyrus let out another cry of frustration as he entered the home and marched up to the stairs.

"STOP IT SANS!"

You couldn't help but laugh as Papyrus stormed out, it reminded you a lot of your friend's little brother. Eventually you heard Sans chuckling to himself too, and then you realized that the two of you were left alone together again. Sobering up, you both stared at each other. It seemed like the joy from the laughs just now diluted the hostility between the two of you enough to cut the contest short.

"do what you want I guess... just don't leave the house or break something." Sans said waving you off and leaving you alone in the living room as he teleported to his room.

You were alone now, and you'd be spending your quiet time by writing inside your new journal. Running your fingers across the cover, you smiled. If you ever got out of here, you'd have records of your journey, and the idea of telling this story to your friends filled you with **determination** and **hope**.


	10. 9 || Entry 1, Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your writing skills as a child aren't the best, but that's hardly a problem right now.

**" ❄︎☟︎☜︎💧︎☜︎ ✌︎☼︎☜︎ 🕈︎⚐︎☼︎👎︎💧︎ 👍︎☟︎✋︎☹︎👎︎☼︎☜︎☠︎ 💧︎☟︎⚐︎🕆︎☹︎👎︎ ☠︎☜︎✞︎☜︎☼︎ ☟︎✌︎✞︎☜︎ ❄︎⚐︎ ☟︎☜︎✌︎☼︎📪︎ ✋︎💣︎ 💧︎⚐︎☼︎☼︎✡︎. "**

_ Entry 1  _

_ I would put the date, but I have no idea what day it is today. I don't know a lot actually. I know my name is (Y/N). I know I'm 12, but other than that, I have a hard time remembering stuff. A part of me thinks I might have hit my hard a little too hard on the fall here, but I'm not sure.  _

_ It's my second day in the Underground, but I'm not sure how to explain it. There are monsters living down here, but they're a bit different from bedtime stories. They're not as scary, first of all. Most of them look like animals, but there are a few that aren't. It's really weird to explain, and I think I'll try to draw an example, but who knows if it'll turn out good.  _

_ It's only been 2 days down here, but I've gotten hurt a lot so far. I think I sprained my ankle when I first dropped down here and into the Ruins. I got attacked by a frog monster with fly attacks. Then I got healed by carrot monster named Vegetoid. It's been a roller coaster ride trying to tell who is and isn't going to hurt me. After all, the frog looked harmless, and Vegetoid looked like a jack-o-lantern face on a carrot.  _

_ Not to mention the weird yellow star by the exit of the ruins, too. It was next to a tree with red leaves, and it said something like " **A living tree underground fills you with** "... I honestly don't remember the rest very well. I do remember it asking if I wanted to " **save** " though. I did save, yes, but it was weird. That star healed all my old cuts and bruises and stopped time. I think.  _

_ Anyways, Vegetoid helped me get out of the Ruins and told me to keep going until I got out, but honestly, I have no idea what to do now. I got out of the Ruins and got to Snowdin Forest, but didn't get very far. There was another "Save Star" outside the Ruins, but I heard someone screaming for help in the forest. It sounded like a kid, so I ran to help.  _

_ I found Papyrus and Sans there. They were being bullied and beat up by four other kids, so I jumped in and protected them. I don't really know why I jumped in, but I think it has something to do with my anger issues. I think my camp counselor on the surface said something like that, at least. I really hate bullies, although I'm not sure why I hated them enough to fight them myself. I ended up having to fight four monsters with magic. I didn't stand a chance, really.  _

_ I still think I won though. After all, I ended up knocking a bunny girl out and all of them ran away when I yelled at them. It was nice to see them get a taste of their own medicine, but I don't remember much else. I think I passed out.  _

_ I woke up to see them again, along with their dad, Gaster. They're a family of skeleton looking monsters. Sans hates me, Papyrus is making friends with me, and Gaster... Well, I don't trust him. He tried to scare me this morning by asking me why I beat up those kids. I think he was trying to see if I'm some sort of sick fuck like those bullies, but I'm not.  _

_ I ended up eating breakfast with them, and afterwards, Sans shoved me into the table when I asked why he hated me. I mean- cmon I saved him and Papyrus just yesterday! He didn't like that I kept bugging him (and that I cussed in front of Paps), so he ended up shoving me into a table.  _

_ I started bleeding from my leg again, and tried to lie to make sure he didn't get in trouble and hate me more for tattling or something, but it didn't work. Gaster knew I was lying and Sans got in trouble anyways. Not my problem anymore.  _

_ But let me tell you this. These guys can freaking TELEPORT. It's cool yeah, but it makes me wanna throw up. It's like your spinning in 6 different ways on a roller coaster ride, and I just - I think I'm getting sick just remembering it.  _

_Well whatever, the point is that Sans and Papyrus had to go to school, and I was stuck hanging around one of Gaster's friends. At first I was_ really _not expecting them to be fire monsters, so I was freaking scared. They're literally made of fire. After I got used to it, I think it's actually pretty cool. Blaze is a pretty noisy guy, but he kinda does remind me of Papyrus. He's really loud, but a dork. Mrs. Flamia is really nice as well. She healed me with her magic the moment she saw me and gave me new clothes from her son Grillby, who is also made of fire. She's also going to fix my jacket, because it's all torn up._

_ But after Papyrus, Sans, and Grillby were done with school, I ended up hearing that sometimes they're late to come home. I'm not an idiot, I know what that means. It means those same bullies from before are gonna hold them up and beat them up again after school! It's happened on the surface, so of course it happens here!  _

_ I saved them again, but this time I didn't really have to beat anyone up. I pinned this other bunny monster down to make sure they heard me yell at them, and I'm pretty sure they aren't going to bother Papyrus, Sans, or Grillby anymore.  _

_ On that note, Papyrus let it slip that all these bullies are really here for Sans. That makes sense, the guy's been an ass to me. Papyrus is super nice, so I don't think anyone would bully him, and Grillby's quiet, so I don't think that he'd be getting much else but teasing. Sans on the other hand... Paps said that they try to beat him up, and apparently that's real bad because he only had " **1 HP** " whatever that means. I asked him to explain it to me, but if I can piece it together, then it's a little like a video game, even if Sans said it's not. Basically, if he gets hit by magic once, then he's good as dead. Which doesn't make sense, because he's always getting bullied, and just yesterday he looked beat up! How much damage does it take to fully get that 1 HP down?  _

_ I asked him that by accident, and realized it sounded like I was planning to kill him. Which I'm not! I might be able to beat people up, but I wouldn't kill anyone.  _

_All I know, is that whenever he gets pissed, his eyes glow blue. I know that's part of his magic, because Gaster did the same thing, but I know he's not as weak as he looks. No one with glowing eyes is weak. I mean cmon, have you seen those main characters in anime? They_ always _have glowing eyes whenever they fight, and they're always super strong in the end. My point is that Papyrus and Blaze and everyone else might think he's weak, but I think he might actually be really strong. I mean, that's what they always do in anime._

_Whatever. Look, I just wanna say that it's been a long two days for me. I just hope that it gets better from here and I get some of my memories back. Who knows, maybe if I have a terrible life on the surface, I'll just stay here and wait to die instead. All I know is that these weird words keep filling my head._ **Determination** and **Hope** _. I've never been one to hope too much, at least I don't think so._

_ (Y/N) out. See you next time.  _

+

**+**

+

It was pretty boring waiting for Sans and Papyrus to finish their homework and other studies and you were bored out of your mind. You couldn't just sit there on the couch for three hours, so you eyed every detail of their house. You rummaged through the cabinets and drawers, which was rude yes, but it was also for your own safety... Or at least you liked to think it was. 

What if something happened and you didn't know where emergency stuff was? Like how there was a fire extinguisher on the kitchen wall, in the cleaning closet, and under the sink. Not to mention the drawer next to the couch with a quantum physics book and a joke book. There was a first aid kit, another notebook filled with some science notes, and a packet of colored pens. Then there was the TV and the stand it was on. Inside the cabinets underneath were a bunch of DVDs and VHSs, but there was also this locked wooden box under there that looked secretive and important. 

If you had the audacity to go upstairs, which you didn't, then you might've found that Sans and Papyrus's rooms were beside one another, and Gaster's was across the hall. Although to be honest, there was another hanging question over your head. Where would you sleep tonight? You didn't mind crashing on the couch, but there was something about being left in the open that unnerved you. You didn't feel safe sleeping out in the open because you weren't exactly a light sleeper. 

You were still getting tired though. Maybe it was because you'd ran to help Papyrus, Sans, and Grillby in the snow without a coat on, or maybe it was a side effect of Mrs. Flamia's healing magic. Who knows, but you were getting tired. Your eyes began to droop as you sat on their comfortable green couch, wedged between the back cushion and the arm rest. Maybe a little shut eye wouldn't hurt. It was just a nap. It wasn't as if Sans would come down and strangle you in your sleep. 

Ok, never mind. Your eyes shot open at that thought. You were definitely not taking a nap with him still in the house. Speaking of which, it was awfully quiet the whole time. Sure, Sans was pretty quiet, but Papyrus shouted literally all the time. 

Just as you were about to go and check on the smaller skeleton, there was a resounding ' _ping_ ' and Gaster appeared in the living room, carrying papers and a pair of glasses on his face. He didn't seem to notice you until after he placed the paper's down on the coffee table in front of you and took a seat beside you on the couch. 

His eyes just barely flickered to you for a moment, as if he barely noticed you out of the corner of his eyes. "O-oh! (Y/N), hello." It was almost like he forgot you were here, but unbeknownst to you, he was actually thinking about how to break the news to you all day. 

You stared at him with a cautious gaze for a minute before replying, "Hello, Gaster." 

The way you spoke was fairly formal and emotionless, and it gave the scientist a chill. _Jesus Christ, what the fuck kind of child were you??_ He didn't know that it was only him that you acted this way around because of how little trust you had in him after this morning. 

"I have some news for you." He said clearing his throat and trying to regain his composure from that unreadable expression on your face. "I'm afraid that I have to do some tests on your **SOUL**."

You finally gave him something to work with when you face shifted to confusion. "What do you mean? I thought you couldn't touch it? How can you do tests on it?" 

Gaster shook his head. "No, I mean your physical soul. Humans don't often learn about it, but by chance did it pop out when you were in battle with those monsters yesterday? It should look like a heart."

Your eyes widened when you realized what he was talking about. It was that thing that popped out of your chest this morning when Sans was throwing you around. That was your soul? "Why do you have to do tests on it?"

You didn't exactly answer his first question, but it was fine. "I need to determine the strength of it..." He trailed off. He didn't want to tell you about what would happen if you met the requirements. A part of him knew that you might, simply because of the way that you'd handled those children yesterday, but hoped that your soul might not be the vibrant color that they needed.

"Why?"

"Because it could determine whether or not you can or will be able to leave this place." 

His words caused you to pause, your eyebrows knitting together in worry and confliction as you stared at your feet. 

Gaster asked again. "May I run some tests on your soul?"

"Is it dangerous?" You asked, looking up to meet his dull eye sockets 

He had a very hard time lying to you with that look on your face. You were just a child after all, and children like you should never have to hear the terrifying truths that he knew. "No." 

It wasn't as if his expression or body language or tone of voice gave him away. You simply knew. You knew he was lying and it filled you with **hopelessness** and **fear**. 


	11. 10 || Temporary Home, No Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes to come to an understanding, you need to be in a life threatening situation. Or at least it felt like one.

**"** **☟︎** **⚐︎** 🏱︎ **☜︎☞︎** 🕆︎ **☹︎☹︎** ✡︎💧︎ **⚐︎** 💣︎ **☜︎** 👎︎✌︎✡︎✡︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎🕯︎ **☹︎☹︎** 👌︎ **☜︎** ✌︎👌︎ **☹︎** **☜︎** ❄︎ **⚐︎** 💧︎ **☹︎** **☜︎☜︎** 🏱︎💧︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎ **☠︎** 👎︎ **☹︎** ✡︎✋︎ **☠︎** ❄︎ **☟︎** ✋︎💧︎ **☟︎** **⚐︎** 🕆︎💧︎ **☜︎** 📪︎👍︎ **☟︎** ✋︎ **☹︎** 👎︎ **. "**

"what?"

"(Y/N) will be wearing your clothes until we have time to go shopping for them. I'm sorry Sans, but I'm afraid I don't have time to go until this weekend."

Sans's eyes trailed to your figure standing behind his father, but your stare was directed at the bottom of the wall. It seemed that you were also displeased by this  sudden decision. Sans couldn't deny his father though. Gaster was right, you needed clothes, and you couldn't sleep in that suffocating dress shirt for the next four days. Sans may not like you, but he wasn't cruel or a brat.

"alright." He muttered, opening the door to his room fully to see the inside.

You didn't bother to step inside, but you glanced out of curiosity at what his room looked like. There was a book shelf lining the left wall, his bed on the right with a window above it. There was a desk and drawer on the far wall and a telescope in the corner. His homework was still laid out on the desk, along with his backpack and sweater.

This was probably the first time you'd seen the skeleton without his blue jacket. He was wearing a turtleneck T-shirt underneath, which you thought was a weird taste in fashion, but didn't say anything. His shoes were replaced with pink slippers and he was wearing basketball shorts instead of the actual pants he wore to  school. Wow, talk about a big difference.

The two of you really only continued to stare at each other with this awkward distaste as Gaster shuffled through his son's closet for something you could wear.

"Thanks." You said suddenly, causing Sans's eye sockets to widen. "For letting me borrow you clothes."

He stayed silent for a moment, surveying you for any hidden sass or sarcasm, and when he couldn't detect any, he replied. "yeah, sure." He said with a bored look.

The two of you immediately shifted your glances elsewhere, and that was when you saw Papyrus's head poking out of his room with a wide grin. He must have thought that the two of you were finally beginning to get along just because anger wasn't lacing your voices. You and Sans felt that he was sorely mistaken.

"(Y/N)!" Papyrus suddenly called after you and Sans made eye contact with him. "COULD YOU HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK?"

Sans's eyes widened and you could see small hints of offense and utter surprise in his eyes.

"Um, sure Papyrus." Your tone was unsure, but as soon as you said yes, he tugged your hand forward and pulled you into his room.

"YAY! THANKS!" His room had a desk in the right corner of his room, with it blocking the window. He had a drawer and along the far wall, and to the left was his race car bed. Cute. "IT'S MATH, CAN YOU HELP?"

He took a seat at his desk and you could see Sans standing in the doorway with his eye lights still lit but small as ever. It was like he was subtly warning you that if you did anything wrong, he wouldn't hesitate to grab you by your soul and throw you out the window. You didn't care much because there was no way you'd hurt someone as innocent as Papyrus. He was basically a toddler in your eyes - despite that he was actually six.

"Sure, Papyrus." You said glancing down. It was simple addition and subtraction. Thank god. You'd feel like an idiot if you'd agreed and couldn't do it.

For the next fifteen minutes, you helped teach him how to add and subtract, usually with his fingers, and other simple methods. Gaster watched from the doorway as well and the scientist couldn't help but feel even more guilty than before. He really hoped you didn't meet those unspoken requirements. He didn't think he could find it in himself to let someone who reminded him of his own sons die.

When Papyrus finally finished his homework, he leaped off his chair and hugged your waist, as he was only as tall as it. "THANK YOU!" He cried with a bright grin. "NOW IT'S TIME TO MAKE DINNER!" He let go of you and bolted out of his room just as quickly, making his way down into the kitchen.

You left his room and thankfully took the new pair of clothes from Gaster. "Thanks, I'll change into them after dinner." You said.

There wasn't much left to say before Gaster nodded and left, leaving you and Sans again. Why did everyone keep doing that? Did they not realize how dangerous it was to leave the two of you alone? Remember what happened last time? Sans said nothing more to you and left as well, luckily avoiding a possible argument or something.

You sighed and made your way back downstairs, placing the pair of clothes on the couch to receive later. It was a loose white T-shirt with a pun on it and a pair of black sweatpants with a white stripe down the sides. It would at least be comfortable to sleep in. And yes, you'd be sleeping on the couch.

"(Y/N)!" Papyrus called excitedly from the kitchen. "COME HELP US MAKE DINNER!" You couldn't deny him. He was too sweet and kind for you to.

+

**+**

+

You couldn't sleep.

You were exhausted, yes, but something terrified you. It wasn't Gaster. It wasn't Sans. No, far from it. After dinner, you'd become a little more comfortable around them. You didn't trust them, no not quite, but you didn't think they'd go out of their way to murder you in your sleep. Especially not Gaster, but the look on his face that never seemed to go away worried you.

There was something about his guilty expression that caused you to stress. You pulled the blanket you had tighter around you, but no matter how tightly you tried to wrap yourself in order to feel secure, you couldn't force the feeling down. You were terrified, and the creeping  helplessness caused your face to grow warm with future tears.

You shifted back and forth on the couch, forcing yourself to choke down your  fear and negative emotions, until you couldn't stand it anymore. You hardly stopped yourself from crying about this sudden dread, and stood from your spot on the couch, throwing off the blankets. You were still wiping your eyes from the silent fearful tears as you quietly crept to the kitchen, trying to get something to drink to distract yourself.

Although as soon as you entered the kitchen, you saw a shadowy figure in the light of the fridge. At first you took a step back, holding your breath, and hoping  they wouldn't hear you. Who in the hell had come in here without a sound when you'd been awake the whole time?

Just as you were about to begin your panicking, you heard soft hiccups coming from them. If you looked a little closer, you could see it was Sans wrapped up in a blanket and wearing his sweater. As he turned around, you could see in his hands was a cup of tea, and blue tears fell down his eye sockets.

The two of you stared wide eyed at each other, the obvious remnants of tears in both your eyes, but neither of you said anything. You both continued to stare at each other with a shocked, conflicted, and sad expression for a full three minutes before Sans moved. You stiffened as you watched him place the cup of tea down on the counter and then pour another one. He did so while wiping the side of his face from any left over tears, and he approached you.

Taking an unsure step back, you looked at him in shock as he held out the cup of tea to you. It took you a moment, but you hesitantly took the cup of tea from him and stared at the steaming liquid. It was still dark, so you couldn't see if he put poison in it or not, but the warmth was comforting in it's own way and caused you to throw away your stupid paranoia. You sniffled and drank soft sips from the cup, a tear falling every time your shaky lips made contact with the edge of the cup.

Sans stared at your pitiful state and saw himself. He'd just been like that literally five minutes ago. Steadying his breathing he teleported out of the kitchen, his cup still on the counter and the blanket that was around his shoulders was now on the floor. You stared at where he was standing before, confused as to why he'd just leave so quickly without even taking his blanket or mug. Maybe it was too awkward. Yeah, that was reasonable.

What you didn't expect was that he showed up a minute later with a soft ' _ ping _ ' as he teleported back. There was something fuzzy and floppy in his grip, but you couldn't really tell what it was because it was so dark. He held it out to you, and with another shaky hand, you steadied your breathing before you took it.

"i-it's a jacket." He said, the remains of a sad tone still in his voice. "it's red, but I'm not a fan of the color." He muttered. "you can have it." Picking the blanket on the floor back up, and the mug from the counter.

You glanced back and forth between Sans and the jacket he'd just handed to you.  _ What the actual fuck? _ What was going on? Why was he suddenly being so sympathetic? He literally shoved you into the table this morning. You were so confused, but that was a  _ really _ soft hoodie.

You placed your mug onto the table and slipped on the jacket. The hood was lined with fur and the soft, brushing hairs comforted you almost immediately. "T-thanks." You stuttered out, still trying to calm down from your earlier sobbing.

He said nothing more to you, only wrapping the blanket tighter around his shoulders before he walked past you to unlock and open the front door. He glanced at you from over his shoulder, and you guessed that was a cue to follow or something, but you wondered why he'd go out in such weather. It was so cold outside, and it was night time now. Wait, could skeletons even feel the cold?

You didn't know why you felt obligated to follow him. Carefully zipping up the jacket, you shuffled your shoes on, grabbed your tea, and followed him outside. He was just standing on the porch, and you had to close the door behind the two of you so the house didn't get cold. You silently questioned what he was doing, but he wasn't glaring at you - he wasn't looking at you with some sort of underlying hate. He was still staring at you though. Some feeling in his eyes laced with pity, his own numbness from before, and a sort of recognition.

Without warning, he placed a hand on your shoulder, the other one still holding the mug, just as you had one in your own hands. You had a feeling of what was going to happen next, and you covered your mouth to keep from throwing up. You kept your eyes wide open this time, wanting to know if there was something to see or just darkness, and you found yourself graced with flashing images of scenery. It was almost as if you'd simply been falling, and traveling through the Underground sideways.

You were both teleported, but this time it was marginally less nauseating. You were still dizzy, but you didn't feel so sick that you needed to puke. When you shook your head to clear it, you found yourself staring at the floor, a glowing blue flower at your feet and a river a small distance away.

"W-where are we?" You asked, your voice finally clearing from your earlier cries.

Sans didn't reply yet. He walked down a few paths and over planks that crossed streams. "Waterfall." He finally said, reaching a large patch of those glowing blue flowers and sitting in the middle of it.

Despite that it was considerably warmer than Snowdin, he still had a blanket wrapped around him. He didn't speak to you, but you took it upon yourself to sit two feet away from him. While you looked down into your mug, realizing it was no longer piping hot, you took a few gulps, surprised that it calmed you so easily.

You took another glance at the blue flowers surrounding you. You wondered how they grew down here and why they glowed, and some jokester in you came up with the response of ' _ magic _ ' as if it wasn't obvious already. You could almost hear soft hums in the distance, or perhaps right next to you, but simply very quiet. Their soft glows made you feel better, calmer. Your panic and fear subsided as if it never existed. Although, while your gaze was on the flowers on the ground, you glanced to Sans, whose eyes were glued to the ceiling. Why was he staring up?

You followed his gaze and found that above your heads, were the ceiling crystals which mimicked the stars from the surface. It was beautiful. You guessed that it was what Sans was here for. Perhaps he liked the crystals, but you knew that if he did, then he might've loved the stars on the surface even more.

You were staring at Sans now, watching as he kept his eyes up. Occasionally you'd look back at the glowing flowers or your tea cup, taking sips, but your vision always went back to him. This was probably the calmest you'd seen him. Perhaps if this continued, then maybe you'd be able to make friends with him. If you shoved aside that the two of you needed to see each other having a panic attack to reach this sort of tranquility and understanding.

It felt like another fifteen minutes before Sans finally finished his cup of tea (you'd finished yours ten minutes ago) and stopped staring at the cave ceiling. He stared at the bottom of his empty tea cup for a moment, and then shifted his gaze back to you. The two of you stared at each other again, all negativity gone and replaced with a subtle understanding and mild respect. You still didn't trust each other, but you could understand that not everything was as it seemed. You both had your own struggles to face.

He stood up from his spot on the floor of Waterfall, and you followed his action, dusting yourself off before he placed his hand on your shoulder again. You didn't need to hold your mouth shut this time. You didn't need to force yourself not to be dizzy. You simply closed your eyes and opened them to find that you were back in their house.

Sans left you there in the living room, walking up the stairs instead of teleporting to his room. He didn't spare you a glance, but for once you didn't mind. This new found understanding between the two of you filled you with  **determination** and  **hope** .


	12. 11 || Quiet Stares, Clothes Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief moment of happiness before you're shoved back into terrible realizations.

**"** 💧︎ **⚐︎** 💣︎ **☜︎** ❄︎✋︎💣︎ **☜︎** 💧︎❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** 💣︎ **⚐︎** 💧︎❄︎💣︎🕆︎ **☠︎** 👎︎✌︎ **☠︎** **☜︎** ❄︎ **☟︎** ✋︎ **☠︎** **☝︎** 💧︎✌︎ **☼︎** **☜︎** 🕈︎ **☟︎** ✌︎❄︎🕈︎ **☜︎** **☼︎** **☜︎** 💣︎ **☜︎** 💣︎👌︎ **☜︎** **☼︎** 💣︎ **⚐︎** 💧︎❄︎ **☞︎** **⚐︎☠︎** 👎︎ **☹︎** ✡︎ **. "**

That night, it wasn't just you who had fear creep up and pounce on them in the dead of night. Sans suffered from the same terrible nightmare he'd usually had, and decided to handle it the way he always did. Teleporting downstairs, making himself a cup of Golden Flower tea, and sobbing silently to himself in the dimly lit kitchen. Sometimes if it's worse than normal, then he'd make his way to the most lit patch of echo flowers in Waterfall and sit there amongst the cave crystals until he felt better. He'd only consult his father if the night terror was bad enough that he could hardly breathe. He knew how busy the Royal Scientist could be and how important it was for him to sleep. Despite that he was only a child, he was always overly observant and considerate to those he cared for.

He just didn't expect to see you there with the same terrified expression he'd see in the mirror on those horrifying nights. It caused his own panic to stop short. At first, he had the bubbling emotions of embarrassment and humiliation, but it didn't get to surface when he saw that you'd been going through the same thing.

So making a spur of a moment decision, he made you a cup of tea, and brought you to Waterfall. He couldn't comfort you. He didn't really know how, even if he felt obligated to, but he wasn't going to just let you suffer. Although he might not trust or like you, he wasn't cruel.

The both of you acted like nothing had happened after that night. Sure, there was a lot less hateful and hostile glares after, but neither of you went out of your way to make friends with each other either. Not to mention that you talked even less to each other. You completely avoided contact unless necessary, and Papyrus and Grillby really couldn't tell if things were worsening or improving.

Papyrus was continuously bugging you to play with him or help him with his homework for the rest of the week or asking questions as to why you didn't like Sans. You didn't mind really, except for the Sans part. You always went silent when he started talking about his brother, but his talks and puzzles gave you something to do instead of sit on the couch and be bored for hours on end as you waited for them to do their homework before doing something exciting or making dinner.

Grillby's company was a little more comforting. Maybe it was because like his mother, he was a very good listener, and always knew what questions to ask that were neither too invasive, nor boring. Your contact with him was a lot less than that of the other monsters you knew, and was only just barely larger than Gaster's, but you learned to like his company. Besides he always asked you and the other two skeleton brothers to try his newest attempts at making fries all the time. Very rarely did they taste bad.

Flamia noticed your change as well. When babysitting you for the rest of the week, she'd asked you if you could try and befriend Sans. Considering that you stayed silent instead of completely rejecting the idea, she knew something changed between the two of you. Not to mention that she knew the red jacket around your shoulders. Gaster had tried to pawn it off to Grillby last year, but her son politely declined. Sans never did like the color red very much, after all.

Blaze on the other hand spent the next two days telling you jokes and trying to get you out of your shell. It worked pretty well, but he was still pretty scared of that emotionless face you wore when you asked the questions he didn't want to answer. After a while he learned your favorite food of his, and made it for you whenever you liked. He was trustworthy enough to you, simply because he was a very bad liar.

Gaster was always busy. He had work in Hotlands from what you'd gathered from your talks with Flamia and Blaze. He worked as the Royal Scientist, and suddenly everything clicked into place in your head. He needed to test your soul for his work. You just didn't know if there was some sort of underlying intentions behind his tests. Nonetheless, tomorrow the four of you would go clothes shopping, and next Wednesday you were to go with Gaster to his lab to begin the tests.

You were dreading the weekdays, and could feel yourself falling into the same rhythms of fear, but you found that Golden Flower tea Sans had made that night in a top cupboard, and always brought a thermos of it everywhere you went just in case. It wasn't that you liked the tea, because honestly it wasn't the best you'd had, but it was a sort of anchor. It was a reminder of a calm moment you'd had Underground, and if you closed your eyes, you could almost see the steady and calm pulsing of those beautiful blue flowers from Waterfall.

You really needed a better way to deal with these panic attacks though. They were getting out of hand and you couldn't rely on this leaf-water and red jacket forever. You just didn't know where to start, and if it wasn't obvious enough already, you and Sans weren't exactly on speaking terms. Sadly, no one else knew about your anxieties, and no one knew how much they were growing either.

_You would be alright in time._

You repeated that phrase in your mind often, and anytime you stopped believing it, well... You'd find Sans staring at you from across the room with that same look of quiet respect and understanding.

_Yeah, you'd be alright._

+

**+**

+

The weekend came slow, and the series of events that followed were boring. You did learn something new though. Apparently the kids who often picked on Sans, Grillby, and Papyrus were a bit more weary. They had left them alone all week since your second appearance. Papyrus was always a good source of information. The talkative six-year-old never quite understood what was going on, but he noticed a lot.

You were glad they didn't have anyone picking on them this week, but you knew it wouldn't last forever. When their bullies realize that you couldn't be there to defend them all the time, then they'd no doubt go back to it. Some kids never learn.

For now though, you were busy with something else.

"Papyrus, please. You don't exactly need to go-"

"BUT I WANT TO!" Papyrus pleaded with a slight frown, giving his father ' _puppy-dog eyes_ ' in order to convince him to go shopping with the two of you.

Originally it would just be Gaster helping you pay for the clothes you liked, and Sans and Papyrus would stay home, but the smallest skeleton was extremely attached to you now. Anywhere you went, he went. So here you were, standing to the side with Sans as Papyrus coaxed his father into letting him go with you.

"Fine, fine." Gaster muttered, rubbing the space between his eye sockets. "But if you're going, Sans is coming as well."

At first Sans have a sigh, glad that he'd have a moment of silence to himself, but when he heard the second part to Gaster's reply, he stiffened and gave an irritated grumble. Papyrus cheered and hopped around for a while before he shuffled on his shoes quickly. Sans slipped on his own tennis-shoes and Gaster looked expectantly to you. That was your cue to get ready for your trip as well.

You slipped on your shoes, the same red jacket, and the small thermos of tea into your pocket. You weren't comfortable going anywhere without it, and everyone who knew you knew this. Gaster figured you had simply liked the tea to drink it wherever you went, but Sans knew better.

The four of you were quickly teleported to a different part of the Underground, one you were completely unfamiliar with. It didn't look like Waterfall or Snowdin, but it was majorly colored in white and gray. All the buildings seemed similar, and the crowds were larger than you'd ever seen before. It was like almost every other monster lived here. Actually, how many monsters were in the Underground at all?

"Welcome to the Capital, (Y/N)." Gaster said placing his hollowed hand on your shoulder. "Follow me, and keep your hood up. Although some monsters know you are here and by decree of the King, under my jurisdiction, your appearance here may cause a bit of a commotion."

You knew what that meant, or at least kind of. Even though the king knew you were here and let Gaster test on you, people still wouldn't like you because you were human. You pulled the red jacket's fur hood up and over your head. It covered just above your eyes, and you stuffed your hands into your pockets. It wasn't very cold, so the jacket was unzipped, but a part of you was saddened that you had to hide like this.

Your spiraling thoughts were put on hold when you finally reached another shop. The door was wooden, the building still white and grey like everything else, but when you stepped inside, there were several colors lining the walls. Clothes hung on racks all along the shop, and your eyes flickered left and right to something that you might like.

"Hello!" A cheery voice from behind the counter all the way in the back chimed through the store. "Welcome, if there's anything I can help you with, don't be afraid to ask." She was an orange cat with brown stripes, wearing a frilly pink and black dress with a white bandanna on her head.

Before Gaster could even encourage you to find something you liked, Papyrus took you by the hand and pulled you along. He immediately shuffled through the scarf section.

"IT'S COLD IN SNOWDIN, SO YOU SHOULD GET A SCARF LIKE ME!" He said proudly flipping his own red scarf. "YOU ALREADY HAVE A JACKET LIKE SANS, EVEN IF IT IS RED. SO MAYBE YOUR SCARF SHOULD BE BLUE INSTEAD!"

"nah, Pap." Sans suddenly spoke up from behind you. "the colors'll clash." He was joking with his brother, and you could see the steady teasing grin begin to grow.

"BUT THEN WHAT COLOR SCARF SHOULD (Y/N) GET?" Papyrus was staring hard at the array of scarves. "MAYBE THEY SHOULD JUST GET A NEW JACKET AND A SCARF!" He said with with new found excitement.

"Wait what?" You and Sans both said as Papyrus grabbed your hands and dragged you toward the next section. He was almost diving into the racks at this point and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Papyrus, I think I'm good on jackets for now." You said scratching the back of your neck. You didn't want to hurt his feelings. "This one I'm wearing is pretty warm, and Mrs. Flamia is fixing my old jacket back in Snowdin."

Papyrus popped his head out from the rack, a disappointed expression on his face. "SO YOU DON'T NEED A NEW JACKET..?" He asked. "YOU'RE GONNA WEAR THAT ONE ALL THE TIME LIKE SANS DOES?"

"Uhh... Yes?" You said unsure. That was a conflicting sentence, mainly because Papyrus always kept trying to relate you and Sans to one another. Actually, Blaze had made the same comment just the other day.

"OH." Papyrus seemed deflated for a moment before he brightened back up in no time. "I SEE YOU AND MY BROTHER ARE FINALLY GETTING ALONG THEN! YES, SANS IS THE BEST BROTHER EVER, SO OF COURSE YOU'D WANT TO COPY HIM!"

"Wait, what?" You said shocked.

"NYEH HEH HEH! WORRY NOT HUMAN! WE CAN GET YOU SIMILAR CLOTHES TO HIM TOO!" He immediately ran into a different direction, you and Sans following after him. "AREN'T YOU FLATTERED BROTHER? THEY WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU!"

You and Sans gave each other an unsure glance at first and just continued to stare. Until he finally gave a lazy shrug in response, the lazy permanent grin on his face widening into a genuine smile ever so slightly before he continued after Papyrus.

You stayed where you were for a moment, completely frozen in your tracks. After a week, Sans finally smiled at you for the first time since meeting him. For some reason, it caused a joyful spark to grow in your chest. Maybe he wasn't as bad as he seemed. Maybe the two of you just needed a better understanding of each other. And strangely enough, the single grin he gave filled you with **determination** and **hope**.


	13. 12 || White Walls, Wednesday Tests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster has made many mistakes before, but this is probably his worst.

**"** ❄︎ **☟︎** ✋︎💧︎💧︎ **☟︎** **⚐︎** 🕆︎ **☹︎** 👎︎❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** **⚐︎** **☼︎** **☜︎** ❄︎✋︎👍︎✌︎ **☹︎☹︎** ✡︎👌︎ **☜︎** 🏱︎✌︎✋︎ **☠︎** **☹︎** **☜︎** 💧︎💧︎✌︎ **☠︎** 👎︎ **☞︎** **⚐︎** **☼︎** ❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** 🕈︎ **☜︎** **☹︎☹︎** 👌︎ **☜︎** ✋︎ **☠︎** **☝︎** **⚐︎** **☞︎** 👌︎ **⚐︎** ❄︎ **☟︎** **⚐︎** **☞︎** 🕆︎💧︎📪︎✋︎ **☟︎** **⚐︎** 🏱︎ **☜︎** ✋︎❄︎🕈︎✋︎ **☹︎☹︎** 👌︎ **☜︎** **. "**

It was quite hard to be honest with yourself in this moment because you'd thought you felt some of the worst of the Underground already. Yet, you'd actually felt nothing. What you experienced before would be nothing compared to what you'd feel here. Or at least that's what you thought.

Panic continued to creep onto you as you gripped the sides of your red jacket. You pressed your head into the fur and kept your eyes down as Gaster walked in front of you. You were terrified by this place. The stares of the lab's employees looking at you as if you were a set of results or a specimen to be thoroughly studied. Despite that you wanted to believe you weren't, a part of you knew you were.

Hotland was just that; hot, but it didn't stop you from wearing the same red jacket you had on now. It was unzipped, but you shrunk into yourself so much that it didn't seem to matter as you covered the front of your body. When you reached the lab, it was air conditioned and larger than it seemed on the inside than what it portrayed outside. Still, Gaster had told you to stay close.

No one would hurt you, but hardly anyone would speak to you without needing to either. You were worse than a foreigner, you were almost a prisoner. A set of doors opened before you and Gaster, and the sliding motion cause you to look up from the floor.

You followed Gaster into the room; white walls, silver and white tiled floors, and metal tables and counters. "Come, (Y/N). Let's get you situated." He said before helping you to sit on top of an examination table in the middle of the room. There were sinks, posters and records of information, but Gaster moved to open drawers. He took out clipboards and papers that needed to be filled. He gathered a box of tools which only came in to your view once it was closed.

"Well first things first-" He muttered. "Do you know about **SOUL** traits?"

You looked at him strangely. "Umm... No? This is the first time I've heard that souls were something... real."

"Physical, I think you mean." He corrected. "Well, I suppose I should start from the top then... Souls are the culmination of a person's being. They show your true nature, sometimes even what you'd been through, and the size of it can vary; usually depending on the size of the person."

"Alright, but what's a soul trait?" You asked, referring to his earlier question.

"It determines a person's true nature, although monster's souls remain a grey tone, it usually refers to their ability to hold magic."

"So all monsters have grey souls?"

"Yes, although they're also upside down when compared to human souls." He said waving it off casually.

"Upside down..?" Gaster could hear the confusion in your voice, and sighed.

Out of his chest came a softly glowing grey soul, in the form of an upside down heart, just as he described earlier. "Monster souls tend to look the same, but human souls on the other hand can differ in color to each person." He explained. "It's what makes them so much stronger than monsters."

Your eyebrows knit together. "How are humans stronger than monsters? You can use magic." This may be the first time Gaster had seen you so invested or interested in anything for the time he'd known you.

"There are humans who can use magic you know. Mages were a normal occurrence on the surface once." He said matter-of-factly.

You frowned, your eyebrows knitting together. Well it seemed as though he might be telling the truth. If monsters were once nothing but fictional, and now before your very eyes they were here... Mages couldn't be too far off. "But they aren't seen on the surface anymore." You said. "There aren't any more."

"Perhaps." He began. "Or maybe they remain out of sight." Although Gaster did begin to question how you knew that much ' _common knowledge_ ' when you even had a hard time recalling your family or what you were doing before you fell. "Enough of that though. I believe it's time to know what your trait may be." But he already had a feeling of what it was. "Do you mind if I pull out your soul?"

Honestly you were hesitant. The only times your soul had been pulled out was when Sans ripped it out of your chest and flung you around or held you down. "Sure." It wasn't enough to stop you from being curious though.

You were expecting it to be blue, after all, that was the only color you'd seen it. Unbeknownst to you that it was because of Sans's magic and not your actual color.

"Red." Gaster spoke breathlessly, with a numbingly horrified look on his face.

You'd seen his fear and it spread to you. "What? What is it? Is something wrong?" You asked, your voice wavering with every word. You stared at the vibrant heart-shaped soul in front of you. It was almost pulsing in it's warm glow, and Gaster stared at it with immense sadness and guilt.

He shut his eye sockets tightly and almost looking in pain, but when he opened them again, he seemed to be void of all emotion. He completely dissociated himself to further his research, but it wasn't as if he hadn't done it before. He stood from his seat, leaving your soul in the open as he shuffled through one of the shelves lined with books. He picked out a single one, opened it to a page and turned, walking towards you with deafening footsteps.

"Your soul is red. Therefore, your soul trait is determination." He handed you the book, and you glanced at it's contents.

The pages weren't the bleached white that you were used to, and the script was almost cursive, like someone wrote them by hand.

" _Red Souls -_ ** _Determination_** _:_

_Humans with this soul trait tend to be stubborn and fixed on certain goals. Although they can often be confused for those of a purple soul,_ **_ Perseverance _ ** _, they are much more perfectionistic._

_If they desire something to be done a certain way, they will do everything in their power to ensure it is done exactly that way. Their fixation sometimes lead to narrowmindedness, and if they go through enough trauma, their trait could be the driving force for more sinister things. Determination can be the spark needed to ignite something as powerful as_ _ HATE _ _._

_Because of this, the souls with the determination trait often find themselves in leadership positions, and are rare, even amongst humans._

_More often then not, they also make up the majority of the most powerful mages. The mage leading the making of the barrier, also possessed a soul of determination._

_Souls with the trait of determination, are the strongest amongst all of the seven traits, and despite that perseverance is the second most powerful, it greatly exceeds the power given from a purple soul._ "

Was this why Gaster looked at you like that? Was it because you were dangerous? Just how powerful was a human soul compared to a monster's? Why did the book make it seem as if... as if you could weaponize a single personality trait? Was that possible?

More and more questions appeared, and Gaster could see the confusion on your face. Perhaps you didn't understand the book? Was it too high of a reading level for you? Maybe he shouldn't have overestimated you. You might have reminded him of Sans quite often, but he had no real idea of the specifics of your schooling. He could only make guesses of your general intelligence and potential.

"(Y/N), do you understand it?" He asked.

You finally teared your gaze from the book's pages to him. You'd flipped to another page to see what else there was to read about, but didn't get to finish reading it. "I think so." You mumbled. "I have a red soul, one of the strongest ones, but what does that have to do with anything?" You stared at him, confliction clouding your eyes. "Is that why you were so scared of me? But you didn't even know my soul trait before! And red souls are rare, so how would you have known?"

This could get ugly very quickly, and Gaster realized it. You were becoming frustrated and you still didn't know why everyone looked at you like some sort of rabid and wild animal. It was only natural that you didn't appreciate the stares. He took the book from your hands and flipped to another page, one closer to the beginning, before he handed it back to you. Before you began reading, he pointed to a single passage.

" _Human Souls and Monster Souls:_

_A single humans soul is thousands of times stronger than that of a single monster's soul. All of the monsters currently in the underground would only equal to that of one average human's soul._ "

He closed the book and snatched it away from you hurriedly. " _That_ is why we are weary of your kind, (Y/N)." He said with a bitter tone. "And it is also why so many monsters want you dead."

The news caused you to freeze, terror ripping through your body with tense tremors, but you didn't make a sound. You stayed seated, your hands gripping the hem of your jacket intensely as you stared at Gaster. It was hard to process all this, because despite everything, you knew that they were justified in being afraid of you. Even if you'd said you wouldn't hurt anyone - there was no guarantee. Especially since you'd already hurt a few people already.

It wasn't fair though. You didn't want any trouble. You didn't want this. Why was it too much to ask for a place to feel safe? You were only a child.

"I'm sorry." Gaster said suddenly, realizing that you'd been forced into a state of shock. He hoped his words would be enough to stabilize your emotional state, because there was no bridge he was willing to cross to help. He couldn't take the time to console you. It would tamper with his ability to let you die in the future...

He was truly a horrible person, wasn't he? "But we need to begin testing your soul."

You were stiff when he began, your soul was still in front of you this whole time. You had no idea that it was vulnerable outside your body, but it did feel strange to have it out for so long. He took a single metallic, and technology laced needle out of his toolbox, and the sight frightened you - he could tell.

"Please hold still." He said plainly. "I need a sample of your determination."

Wait, wait, wait. He was going to stick that _thing_ into your _soul_? No way. "No, no, no." You muttered repeatedly, trying to back away.

Gaster could feel his boney hands shake, and he gripped the needle a little tighter. He needed to stay **determined**. He couldn't falter - not now. "This will hurt, but I will try my best to make this quick."

That didn't exactly help you feel better, but Gaster knew you would continue to thrash and resist unless he held you down. Why did you have to make everything harder for him? He kept trying to get you to hold still, but eventually you grabbed your soul, trying to shove it back into your own chest. Before you did however, Gaster caught it with his magic.

It was now outlined in a blue film, and you couldn't see the normal red that it usually was. You felt yourself fall backward onto the metal surface, gravity seemed to push itself down menacingly onto your body and you were pinned there. You tried to run, but you could barely even move your fingers. Panic swarmed you as he inched closer.

But there was nothing you could do.

You braced yourself, shutting your eyes tightly and a whimper escaping your lips, unsure of how much pain you should be expecting. Gaster quickly released his magic, as not to taint the sample of determination. He efficiently plunged the needle within your soul, and you could feel something ripple through your entire being. It was like you were struck with lightning in your right arm.

You couldn't help but let out a scream, clutching onto your arm and balling the cotton sweater in your hand. You barely heard Gaster's string of apologies, tears streaming down your face from the pain. Through the thin film of liquid around your eyes, you could see Gaster's own pained expression, even if it barely showed.

He sucked out parts of your determination, and you could see the gradual progression of your dimming soul color. The needle exited just as efficiently as it entered, and despite that Gaster was no longer holding you down with his magic; you were in too much pain to try and move or run.

You tried to probe your own arm, wondering why it felt like it was on fire, despite nothing being there. It wasn't a physical pain, and it seemed to drain the energy out of you. You could feel your eyes drooping.

"(Y/N)." Gaster began. You only shifted your dull eyes to him to show you were listening. "I'm sorry." He muttered. "But we have more things to do than just extracting determination... and I'm afraid this is only the first day of many that you will be here."

His words caused tears to leak and flow silently from your eyes. It wasn't because you were in pain or saddened, because you were feeling a constant numbness currently. You could only feel the creeping **hopelessness** and **fear**.


	14. 13 || Comfort Blankets, Learning Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You really need a hug, but physical contact probably isn't a good idea right now.

**"** ✌︎ **☹︎** ❄︎ **☟︎** **⚐︎** 🕆︎ **☝︎☟︎** ❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** **☼︎** **☜︎** 🕯︎💧︎ **☠︎⚐︎** **☹︎** **⚐︎☠︎** **☝︎☜︎** **☼︎** ✌︎ **☠︎** ✡︎ **☼︎** **⚐︎⚐︎** 💣︎❄︎ **⚐︎** ❄︎ **☼︎** 🕆︎💧︎❄︎💣︎ **☜︎** 📪︎✋︎ **☟︎** **⚐︎** 🏱︎ **☜︎** ✡︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎👍︎✌︎ **☠︎** **☹︎** **☜︎** ✌︎ **☼︎** **☠︎** ❄︎ **⚐︎** ❄︎ **☼︎** 🕆︎💧︎❄︎❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** 💣︎ **. "**

You were lucky.

There was nothing else amongst the lists of tests needed to be run that came even close to painful compared to that initial strike to your soul. Although Gaster explained that it took a good chuck out of your HP. By the end of the day, you learned that your normal twenty was down to twelve.

After that first extraction, you were dreadfully lifeless for the rest of the day, nearly giving in to whatever may happen, despite that your soul screamed for you not to. Maybe it was because you knew he could just hold you down with his magic if you tried to run or resist. Or maybe it was because he took some of the determination straight from your soul.

The rest of the day had endurance tests, and Gaster could not muster enough carelessness and apathy to continue with anything else. So he teleported you both back to Snowdin after he was done inputting initial numbers. He saw how for the rest of the day you cradled your right arm close to you, and you didn't let him touch you at all.

He couldn't even get close enough to try and heal you - as measly of a job it would have been. So he gave you a sling for your arm and told you to fasten it to yourself, since you were adamant on him not getting any closer. You clipped it into place and gently laid your arm into it, grateful for the pressure on your shoulder relieved. It was still in pain, but better than when you were dragging it around earlier.

That didn't meant you trusted him. No, you trusted him even _less_ than before because of this stunt. Not to mention the lingering comment he made that this would not be the first time he would need to do something like this. He swore he would try his best to avoid actions like those, but it didn't make you feel much better, because you knew that he wouldn't hesitate resorting to pulling out pieces of your soul if need be.

The thought scared you; because it was more than a thought now. It was a completely real possibility - a very likely possibility.

God, you really _really_ needed a hug right now.

But you settled for wrapping your good arm around yourself and crinkling your red jacket closer to your body.

Gaster had teleported the two of you into the house, right in front of the door. You had your head dug into your jacket's hood and you were shrinking into yourself the longer Gaster stood beside you.

"DADDY!" Papyrus's loud voice didn't really startle you after the first couple of days, but after the traumatizing events of today, it scared you enough that you shuffled backwards. Your eyes still had that dull lifelessness to them, but you slowly backed yourself up against the door. A sharp glance from Gaster was the only thing stopping you from making a run for it.

"hey dad." Sans commented as he poked his head out of his room. "home already?"

"I'm just here to take Papyrus to the dentist." Gaster said with a tired tone that Sans recognized. It must have been a long day. Sans figured you'd given his father a hard time during the tests today and held some silent negativity about the idea.

"NOOO!" Papyrus cried, trying to run before Gaster snatched him up into his arms.

"Aha! No you don't." He chuckled with a tired grin. Sans could tell that something was still on his father's mind. "Come on Papyrus, I thought you said you were never afraid of anything."

"I-I'M NOT!" The little skeleton refuted. "B-BUT THAT _THING_ SCARES ME!"

"what, the dentist chair?" Sans joked with a teasing grin as he leaned against the stair railing from the second floor.

"NO!" Papyrus fumed. "THE - THE DRILLS!"

"Do not worry, Papyrus. Everything will be fine." Gaster shifted Papyrus to hold more comfortably before the scientist turned his attention to his eldest son. "Sans... Could you please keep an eye on (Y/N)?"

Before Sans could answer, Gaster was gone, but not before giving you a single glance. It wasn't hostile, but it wasn't exactly friendly, or even pitiful either. It was blank, and it scared you.

When he finally blinked out of existence, you collapsed, sliding down against the front door with a slight thud and uneven breaths. You clutched the white t-shirt over your chest with your shaking left hand and Sans stared at you in shock from the top floor.

Without much warning, he moved away from the railing and appeared right in front of you. You reacted faster than he anticipated and shoved him back with a weak push. It was all that was needed for him to stumble back and land on his bottom though. He stared at you with wide eyes as you curled into yourself, wrapping your arm around the one in a sling and pulling your knees closer to your chest.

Wait- why was your arm in a sling? You were fine this morning! What happened? Did you put up such a fight with his father that you hurt yourself? Because - because... Sans's mind stalled and he could feel his own panic attack threaten to begin when he thought about the idea that his father had hurt you. He almost wanted to puke at the idea of you having bled because of one of his father's attacks or something of the like.

_NO!_

Sans shook his skull. "No." He spoke this time to reassure himself. The scientist wouldn't hurt you unless provoked, so this was either an accident, or you did something that prompted his father to hurt you. That's right, his dad would never...

He shook his skull again, taking in your appearance. He couldn't let you have a panic attack the moment his father was gone. Gaster specifically told him to keep an eye on you, and if you passed out because you couldn't breathe - well... He wanted to avoid the consequences of letting that happen.

Your body was trembling, and he could actually hear faint whimpers from you. This was probably a worse attack than last week's. That was bad. "hey." Sans tried to get your attention. You wouldn't even raise your head to try and look at him, but he couldn't risk touching you. You might turn worse if he tried to touch you.

"hey!" He said a little louder. He could see you wrap yourself tighter. Any tighter and you would probably hurt your arm again. "look i need you to breathe. you gotta breathe slowly or you're gonna pass out."

He straightened himself, now sitting on his knees and inching closer. "you're having a panic attack, and it's worse than the one last time. you gotta breathe." His voice was getting lower and lower, but more gentle as he got closer to you.

"it's ok. everything's gonna be alright."

That was a mistake.

"LIAR!" You shouted back at him, louder than he'd ever heard you speak.

Sans was so shocked by your sudden outburst that his eye ignited into a bright blue, but it wasn't even a second later that it disappeared. Your breathing was becoming even more erratic and now you were nearly gasping for air, but you were finally look at him now. He could see anger and tears and betrayal flickering in and out of that dullness in your eyes and he felt something in himself being pulled in two different directions.

_What happened?_

If you could make out his expression from beyond the burning sting of your tears, you would see that he was at a loss. He didn't know what to do - he'd never known that a panic attack like this could be so close to a violent outburst too.

He disappeared in that same moment, but you didn't let yourself relax - more like you couldn't. Sans was right, if you continued the way you were right now, you'd pass out from a lack of oxygen very soon. Your head was swimming with emotions, and they all crashed into each other so frantically that you couldn't even form a full thought. Your shut your eyes tightly, hoping that the lack of stimulus would help you focus more.

It wasn't until something touched you that they snapped back open again. Sans was leaning over you for only a second, and that was all he needed to wrap his old blue blanket around you. He wrapped it so tight that you almost couldn't move, but in some strange way, it was comforting.

He took several steps back when he was done. Glancing at your figure he found that, despite still having a hard time breathing, you were no longer holding those embers of hate in your eyes. Good! That was good! At least he thought it was. He could at least have a peace of mind that you wouldn't suddenly lunge at and dust him in his own house.

"breathe, (Y/N)." He said gently, making the motions your lungs should have with his hands. Eventually you did, your gasps turning into dramatic hiccups instead.

Still, a funny question entered your mind. How would he know your lungs moved like that if he didn't have any? It was amusing enough of an idea that you felt your mind slow down. You were finally able to piece together rational thoughts - or at least some logical questions.

"i'm gonna make you a cup of tea, ok?" He said turning away when he realized that you were finally breathing again. You didn't give him an answer, but that was alright, because he was going to do it anyway. You stayed there, slumped against the door, wrapped up in his blanket while you watched him enter the kitchen. He boiled some water, shuffled through the cabinets, and made you tea.

It was weird how he was only kind to you when you'd have panic attacks. You'd probably do the same to him though. You finally steadied your hiccups to some mildly uneven breaths, and you could smell faint hints of sour ketchup on the blanket. Ok, that was disgusting. You took another glance at it, realizing there were a few stains on it, a noticeable tear in the fabric, and a few loose ends- OH MY GOD.

You snickered to yourself, staring at Sans with a teasing glance as he walked over to you with a cup of Golden Flower Tea.

"here." He placed it in front of you, and you took it into your hands, but not before you said something with interlaced giggles.

"Is this your _blankie_?" You couldn't help yourself.

Sans stiffened, his bones going rigid and his eye sockets wide, his white eye lights completely gone. You got your answer when a blue blush spread all across his face, his mouth agape enough for you to see that he had some fangs growing in. He was gonna stammer out a denial, but he couldn't even get his voice to work, so he just buried himself deeper into his sweater.

"Holy shit, it is!" You cried, completely taken by surprise. You _would_ start laughing - actually it was completely reasonable for you to laugh - _but_ he did just help you out of a panic attack, so you tried your best not to. Although, another thought began to settle in. "You'd give me your _blankie_ , just to..." You trailed off, as a more pressing question surfaced. "Why?"

The blanket was old, obviously used often, and well loved, but not abused. So why would he give you it? He had to have seriously strong emotional attachment to it, as you remembered he had it wrapped around him during that night last week.

Sans hadn't said anything to you for a while. He wondered himself as to why he'd given that to you. He hadn't even thought about it - he just rushed to get it and comfort you with it.

"you looked like you needed it." His voice was just above a whisper.

You stared up at him, completely confused, but thankful all the same. You both held a foreign gentleness in your eyes even if neither of them made contact.

"Thanks." You said, coming out of your curled position.

"'s no problem." He muttered, turning away. He was still standing up, and just shuffled there awkwardly.

After taking a single sip of the tea, you shakily tried to stand on your own, but considering that both your hands weren't exactly able to prop you up, Sans had to help you stand. He supported your left elbow and despite your knees being a little shaky, you leaned and wrapped Sans in an awkward one armed hug. Your elbow bending around his neck as you kept your head down to lay on his opposite shoulder. You were about the same height.

"Thank you, Sans."

He stood there completely shocked, and a little stiff, but his bones weren't rattling, and you didn't feel or see the smoke pouring from his eye, so he wasn't hostile. You were still holding your cup of tea in your left hand, but he shifted to awkwardly hug you back as well. Maybe you could trust him. Maybe you _should_ trust him. You had to trust _someone_ after all.

"You're welcome, (Y/N)."

If Sans so fiercely protected Papyrus, perhaps if you got him to trust you, just as you planned to learn to trust him... Maybe he could protect you all the same. Despite everything - despite that you were hopeless and terrified, you felt Sans give you a surge of _courage_. The possibility filled you with **determination** and **hope**.


	15. 14 || Healing Souls, Guilty Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith. Hopefully you won't fall down a second time in the process.

**"** ❄︎ **☟︎** ✋︎💧︎✋︎💧︎❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** 👌︎ **☜︎☝︎** ✋︎ **☠︎☠︎** ✋︎ **☠︎** **☝︎** **⚐︎** **☞︎** ✡︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎ **☼︎** ❄︎ **☼︎** ✌︎ **☝︎☜︎** 👎︎✡︎📪︎👌︎🕆︎❄︎✋︎ **☟︎** **⚐︎** 🏱︎ **☜︎** ✡︎ **⚐︎** 🕆︎👍︎✌︎ **☠︎** 💧︎❄︎✋︎ **☹︎☹︎** **☹︎** **☜︎** ✌︎ **☼︎** **☠︎** ❄︎ **⚐︎** **☹︎** **⚐︎** ✞︎ **☜︎** **☜︎** ✞︎ **☜︎** **☠︎** ✌︎❄︎❄︎ **☟︎☜︎** **☜︎** **☠︎** 👎︎ **. "**

It was completely awkward between the two of you after the initial problem was solved. It was just the two of you in the house now that Gaster and Papyrus were at the dentist and it was becoming confusing how you two should act around one another. Neither of you could just ignore it this time, because there was genuinely a change in your demeanors. Not to mention that you had a new resolve to get Sans to trust you.

Both of you were seated at the dinner table, a cup of tea still in your hands and half empty while Sans sat across from you with his own cup. Neither of you made eye contact, but you still had his blanket around your shoulders. He said you could keep it on for as long as you needed, and honestly it was pretty comfortable. A lot of the things he owned were pretty comfortable, actually. Now that you thought about it, you used _a lot_ of his stuff.

"Sans?" You looked up from your reflection in the tea cup. "... Do you have any pain medicines?"

Sans looked up from his own tea cup, as he'd been drifting off in thought until you'd spoken up. "medicine? yeah we have some, but i don't know if they'd work on you."

"Oh."

The conversation died out pretty quickly as you subconsciously pressed your sore arm closer to your body. Sans noticed this and stood from his seat, his chair sliding against the tiled floor of the kitchen with a scaping noise. He walked over to you, approaching your right side where your arm was. Although your initial reaction was to scoot away, you forced yourself to sit still, nothing more than a wary look in your eyes as you waited for him to survey your injury.

"can i see it?"

You swallowed your nervousness and nodded, unclipping the sling from your shoulder and painfully, albeit slowly shrugging off your red jacket. Sans did nothing but wait patiently to the side, making sure you didn't hurt yourself, and not getting any closer or trying to touch you while you bared your injury.

There was no actual wound or any indication that you were hurt, which meant that you'd either hurt a muscle on the inside, or you were hurt from the soul and it was effecting your physical body. "how does it hurt? can you describe it?" He was trying to find out which one it was.

You hesitated, still a little unsure of how the feeling really was. "It was like I was struck by lightning, and then my arm was on fire."

"umm... lightning..?" Sans seemed uncomfortable, and his bone-brows knitted together. "what's lightning?"

He was confused - of course he was confused! They were underground! They'd never have a chance to experience lightning and thunder - despite having rain from Waterfall and snow in Snowdin. "Right." You muttered. "Um... It's electricity, but for the weather. So basically, it's like being shocked by a battery, but about a hundred times worse."

"oh." He replied with another uncomfortable glance. "uh... how'd you get hurt?" You went silent, clearly not wanting to talk about the details. "ok then... _where_ 'd you get hurt?"

"My soul."

That made things easier, but also more complex. If you'd taken injury to your soul, you could only be healed by magic. Whether that came directly from a monster or from monster food didn't matter, but if you continued to let the wound fester like this, your HP would drop even more. 

"we don't have medicine for that, but I can try to heal you." Sans suggested, shifting back and forth on his feet. Sadly for Sans, he was more like his father when it came to healing. Despite that healing became increasingly harder the higher your LV, Sans was already pretty bad at it to begin with. Papyrus was the only one in their family who was actually good at it, and there were some occasions where he'd visit Flamia for tips and tricks to improve his healing.

"You can heal?" Your eyes widened. 

"well, most monsters can." Sans said shrugging. "but uh... some of us aren't as good as others. i'm one of those." He admitted, muttering.

Maybe it would be easier than you thought to gain Sans's trust if he was willing to heal you. It had been what? A week an a half that he'd known you, and he went from wanting you to die on his couch to wanting to heal you himself. That was a lot of sudden change, granted it was quickly sped up due to traumatic experiences, but still.

"Yeah." You said finally, a thankful, crooked smile beginning to form on your lips. "That'd be a lot of help, thanks."

Sans's eye sockets widened a tad when you'd actually accepted his help. "heh." He have you a hesitant lopsided grin back. "no problem."

You held out your limp arm to him, but he shook his head. "uh..." There was blue beginning to dust his cheeks. "y-you um..." He was becoming increasingly embarrassed and continued to stutter over his words. "i-if your soul was the one that was hurt, then... i have to heal it from the source, otherwise it won't heal well. i'm not strong enough to heal it indirectly."

"Oh." You said plainly. "Ok."

That's it? That was it? You were going to let him see your soul so easily? And without any hesitation? Did you not understand the type of closeness two people needed if they wished to see each other's souls?

No. No you did not.

Sans hadn't known this, of course, and the blissful ignorance between the two of you, caused him to become more uncomfortable and embarrassed. Maybe - maybe he should just take you to Flamia and have her heal you indirectly. He'd have to take back his offer of healing you, but it would save him the awkwardness.

"Sans?" You asked, tilting your head, wondering why he was just standing there in front of you with sweat rolling off his skull and empty eye sockets. You never did like it when he had them empty. They intimidated you. "What is it?" Sure you'd said you were going to try and trust him more, but that look on his face wasn't one you were ever comfortable with.

Oh, but Sans couldn't just back out. He'd finally stopped acting like a nervous prick, and actually helped you again instead of avoiding you. He couldn't just turn around and say ' _never mind_ '. Who knows how you might take it- wait why did he care? You were human! The species that endangered his. The species that locked them underground. The species that _hurt_ his father.

"Are you ok?"

"We're going to Grillby's." Sans said, finally snapping out of his train of thought. He couldn't do it. He couldn't just - just _heal_ you. Just because you've had a few panic attacks - just because you _looked_ like he did when he had the same problem didn't mean that it was _for_ the same reason. You weren't innocent, and that injury on you was more than enough proof, because Sans was _so sure_ that Gaster would never lay a hand on you unless you tried to attack him first.

"Grillby's?" You asked, knitting your eyebrows together.

"his mom will heal you." He muttered with dull eye lights.

You paused, realizing that your earlier thought was now void. So much for progress. Sans went back to not trusting you - or rather not letting himself give you the benefit of the doubt. Still, why was he so scared? Why did he hate you so much? What had you ever done to him? The questions swam in your mind and caused your flickering **hope** to dip a little. Maybe having a friend down here was too much to ask.

"Ok." You whispered, your eyes drifting back to the floor.

Sans glanced back at you, seeing that disheartened expression on your face, and he realized that even if he was a paranoid idiot, the least he could do was show you more kindness than what little you'd received from him. Even if he couldn't muster the _courage_ to heal you himself, he could at least try to be better.

"sorry, but i don't think i'm strong enough." It wasn't a lie; at least not exactly. He wasn't emotionally strong enough.

"It's ok." You said, giving him a shaking smile that hid your disappointment. "I don't mind."

_Asgore_ , why did that look on your face have to be so heartbreaking?

You held your hand out to him. You had a feeling that there was something stopping him from trusting you. Something that wasn't in his control anymore. Maybe in the beginning he despised you of his own accord, but now you knew that there was something more to this story. You didn't mind it. It just meant that you would be the one who needed to take a leap of faith first, and despite that the thought of blindly jumping terrified you... You felt that Sans wouldn't let you fall by yourself. You just needed to hold your hand out to him first.

He was silently grateful for your implied forgiveness, but guilt caused him to hesitate making eye contact with you again. He slowly took your hand in his and in the blink of an eye, teleported the two of you to the homey restaurant. You stumbled upon landing, but maintained your footing eventually.

"Sans! (Y/N!)" Blaze's energetic voice came from behind the counter, a bright grin on his face. "You're here! Did Paps already head to his dentist appointment? Don't tell me you only came because you're bored? I know you've got a project due soon, Sans."

Sans wore his usual lopsided grin and shrugged. "don't worry, i've finished it already." He paused for a moment. "but (Y/N)'s hurt so-"

"Hurt?" Flamia emerged from the back kitchen right on time. "Oh dear, come into the back and I'll see what I can do about it." She said, already fretting. "I-I hope it's not bad."

When you got hurt, it was because you'd been fiercely defending the other children, so she had a tendency to panic when you needed healing. Neither of you replied, so her slight frown deepened, both you and Sans sharing a single guilty glance. She sat you down at the back table, Grillby sitting there as well, finishing what you assumed to be the project Blaze was talking about.

"May I see where you're hurt?" She asked, pulling off her apron.

You turned to Sans to explain your injury to her, as honestly you had almost no idea how a soul worked. "um, about that..." Sans trailed off. Flamia really didn't expect for him to speak up, and neither did Grillby, so they both turned their attention to him. "(Y/N) hurt... their soul." He muttered quietly.

"What!?" Her sudden loud voice startled all three of you, so she regained her composure. "H-how is it that you hurt your soul so easily? I know you got into fights with other children about bullying, but you've never pulled out your soul to fight before, right?" She was beginning to ramble as much as Blaze would, and Grillby stared in shock as his mother fretted. He'd hardly ever seen her this nervous and scattered, so it must have been serious.

"that's the thing." Sans spoke, stopping her rambling. "they weren't in a fight..."

Flamia had visible confusion on her face for a long while, until her expression was overtaken by sudden realization, and then shock, worry, fear, and guilt. "Oh." Was all she could muster up to reply. She would be speaking with Gaster later. "Never mind that, you have a physical pain, don't you? Can you tell me where?" She asked softly.

You simply held your arm out to her, and she wasted no time in healing you from there. It was silent the whole time, but you looked up to notice that Sans wasn't staring at you from afar like he usually would. He was turned around, staring at the floor with knitted bone-brows, like he couldn't shake a feeling, but couldn't name it either.

It wasn't long until she was finished, but before she could ask anymore questions, Sans grabbed your hand, muttered a quick ' _thank you_ ' and teleported the two of you back to his home. Strangely he didn't let go of your hand the moment the two of you touched down, so you tried to shake free of his grasp yourself. He still wouldn't let go.

"I'm sorry." He choked out. You could only see the side of his face, as he turned away from you. "I'm sorry." He kept repeating the phrase, his grip on your hand tightening as you saw him try to harshly wipe tears away from his face with his other hand.

"Stop!" You finally said. "It's... it's not yourfault."

He turned to you again, the most confused, helpless expression you'd ever seen on his face, but you only smiled in return. A smile he wasn't sure why you wore. Why did you still smile at him after all he'd done? He treated you like some sort of hellbent criminal in the beginning, and then after being kind to you once, he distanced himself even more after your first panic attack. How could you ever say that he wasn't part of the reason to blame?

How could he ever make it up to you?

"You could stop avoiding me."

Oh, he'd said that out loud?

"You're not bad, Sans. I know that much now." You muttered, stuffing your hands inside the pockets of your pants, and looking around the room unsure of how else to react. "You're just super scared, _all_ the time." You finally made eye contact with him again, a crooked half-smile on your face. "And that's alright."

He still didn't understand you. What was with this sudden change? How did things come to this? Why would you ever forgive him? There were so many questions running through his skull, but eventually, he couldn't help but laugh. He laughed and laughed and laughed, glowing blue tears falling from his eye sockets.

"I don't understand you _at all_." He spoke breathlessly.

You felt a little awkward when he cried, but gave a breathy chuckle. "Yeah, neither do I."

It comforted him just a little bit to know that you didn't know what you were doing either. You were just as confused and conflicted as he was, and that gave him a sense of security.

"How about this," You began. "take me back to Waterfall sometime and we'll be even, alright?"

His breaths were a little uneven, but he replied with, "Why do you like that place so much?"

"I could ask you the same thing." You said sassily. "But I guess, I just think it's... calming."

You weren't wrong. Sans thought that Waterfall was the calmest place in the entire Underground, and he loved it there just as much as he loved his home. "yeah, alright."

Your new request was the first move. The hand held out to him first. You wanted someone to trust down here, even if he didn't know that was why you were asking, it still filled both of you with sparks of **determination** and **hope**.


End file.
